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Cologne -- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

       
(Poem #361) Cologne
In Kohln, a town of monks and bones,
And pavements fang'd with murderous stones
And rags, and hags, and hideous wenches;
I counted two and seventy stenches,
All well defined, and several stinks!
Ye Nymphs that reign o'er sewers and sinks,
The river Rhine, it is well known,
Doth wash your city of Cologne;
   But tell me, Nymphs, what power divine
   Shall henceforth wash the river Rhine?
-- Samuel Taylor Coleridge
This is Coleridge in a vitriolic mood; one would hardly imagine the
writer of these lines to be the same person who gave us

"In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
   A stately pleasure dome decree:
Where Alph, the sacred river, ran
Through caverns measureless to man
   Down to a sunless sea."

The first five lines of 'Kublai Khan' are, as I've mentioned elsewhere,
possibly my favourite lines anywhere in the canon of English poetry. But
to tell the truth, I like 'Cologne' almost as much.

thomas.

PS. From Merriam-Webster online:
Main Entry: co.logne
Pronunciation: k&-'lOn
Etymology: Cologne, Germany
Date: 1814
1 : a perfumed liquid composed of alcohol and fragrant oils
        -- www.m-w.com

Oh, the irony!

[Links]

'Kublai Khan' was one of the earliest poems to be run on the Minstrels;
you can read it at poem #12

Another beautiful piece of verse invective is Patrick O'Reilly's 'Litany
for Doneraile', at poem #266

while Carl Sandburg's 'Chicago' is an example of just the opposite, the
poetic glorification of a city: poem #5

I Wish You Were a Wave of the Sea -- John Whitworth

Guest poem submitted by Steve Axbey :

I've been meaning to send this in for ages (and now it'll be lost
amongst a big pile of responses to your request: curses!):
(Poem #360) I Wish You Were a Wave of the Sea
Fretting my heart as you pedal your bicycle,
Perdita, once I called, Perdita, twice I called.
Pretty as paint and as cool as a icicle,
        Perdita Simmons!

Shall I tell how we met under fortunate auspices?
Presuming a bottle of Spanish Don Horsepiss is
Fortunate... This is not one of my coarse pieces,
        Perdita Simmons.

Syllables shimmy as sonnets assemble
Themselves in a shadowless summer a-tremble -
A ten-guinea ticket for Merton Commem Ball
        With Perdita Simmons

Daddy's a saurian Cambridge historian.
Mummy's more chummy. She's tweedy and Tory and
Hunts and what-have-you. So very Victorian
        Is Perdita Simmons.

Thus Mainwaring, tall dark and rich, with a glance as much
As to say, My dear boy, I don't fancy your chances much
I know Perdie of old, and she doesn't like dances much,
        Doesn't Perdita Simmons.

Perdita's hair ruffles fairer and tanglier,
Perdita's grin makes my ganglia janglia,
Perdita's uncle owns half of East Anglia,
        All for Perdita Simmons.

Mainwaring's plan is for getting a leg over;
Wait till she's plastered (the bastard!), then beg of her.
No go. (Ho-ho!) Now his face has got egg over.
        From Perdita Simmons.

Oh, how spiffing! (She talks like a school-story serial,
While my lexical style is down-market and beery.) All
Love is insane and remote and ethereal
        And Perdita Simmons.

As we're pounding the ground in a last hokey-cokey, dawn
Fingers two constables, hauling off chokey-borne
Mainwaring, pissed as a rat on the croquet lawn.
        Sweet Perdita Simmons.

Half-asleep, climbing from Headington Hill, at the crest of it
Sickle moon, scatter of stars and the rest of it,
In my hand one small hand (and this is the best of it)
        Of Perdita Simmons.

Perdita murmurs, You'll do for a poet.
And kisses me carefully twice, just to show it.
Nobody knows what love is. But I know it.
        It's Perdita Simmons.
-- John Whitworth
I am surpised to realise that this is one of my favourite poems (I
immediately knew that it would be this poem that I would one day send in
to the Wondering Minstrels).

I love it for the rythyms, the clever rhymes, the abrupt changes of pace
(but still managing to flow) and the ending. But most of all because
it's so much fun.  (It also helps, perhaps, that I first heard it read
live by the author while I myself was a student at university).

John Whitworth was born in 1945 (the book jacket says) and his first
collection was called Unhistorical Fragments. This poem is taken from
Poor Butterflies (1982) published by  Secker and Warburg.  I couldn't
find any biography on the net and as far as I know he isn't at all
famous - but I would be pleased to be corrected!

Re-reading the poem again it suddenly strikes me how British it is so,
for the benefit of the non-Brits, here's a glossary:

Merton Commem Ball - Merton is a college at Oxford University. Their
annual Commemoration Ball is a lavish, sparkling affair.
Tory - Conservative
Mainwaring - is pronounced "Mannering" (so the poem does scan!)
plastered - drunk
chokey - prison
pissed - drunk (in the UK "pissed off" means annoyed, but "pissed" means
drunk, causing endless Anglo-American fun).

Steve.

[thomas adds]

Ever since Steve sent this poem in, I've been going around singing
'Perdita's grin makes my ganglia janglia' at random intervals...

The Angler -- Thomas Buchanan Read

       
(Poem #359) The Angler
  But look! o'er the fall see the angler stand,
  Swinging his rod with skilful hand;
  The fly at the end of his gossamer line
      Swims through the sun like a summer moth,
  Till, dropt with a careful precision fine,
      It touches the pool beyond the froth.
  A-sudden, the speckled hawk of the brook
  Darts from his cover and seizes the hook.
  Swift spins the reel; with easy slip
  The line pays out, and the rod like a whip,
  Lithe and arrowy, tapering, slim,
  Is bent to a bow o'er the brooklet's brim,
  Till the trout leaps up in the sun, and flings
  The spray from the flash of his finny wings;
  Then falls on his side, and, drunken with fright,
      Is towed to the shore like a staggering barge,
      Till beached at last on the sandy marge,
  Where he dies with the hues of the morning light,
  While his sides with a cluster of stars are bright.
  The angler in his basket lays
  The constellation, and goes his ways.
-- Thomas Buchanan Read
The most notable feature of today's poem is its vividness - the colours, the
textures, the play of light are all captured with elegance and economy, and
it is no great surprise to learn that Read was primarily a painter. As
longtime readers of Minstrels are doubtless aware, I greatly enjoy such
poetry, especially when combined with the wonderfully flowing verse Read has
attained in today's piece. Throw in some lovely imagery and some nice studies
in contrast, and you have a poem that is a pleasure both to read and to
recite - a poem that will never, perhaps, take its place among the immortal
greats, but one that I was nonetheless glad to have encountered.

Biography and Assessment

  (1822-1872) Poet and painter. Born in Chester County, Pennsylvania. Spent
  his later years in Rome and Florence. Painted Thackeray and Browning.
  Became a writer at Longfellow's urging. Works include Poems (1847); Lays
  and Ballads (1848); "Sheridan's Ride" (poem); "Drifting" (poem); and "The
  Closing Scene" (poem).

    -- [broken link] http://etext.lib.virginia.edu/eaf/authors/tbr.html

  The latest production of Mr. Read, published in Philadelphia in 1855,
  during the author's residence in Italy, The New Pastoral, is the most
  elaborate of his compositions. It is a series of thirty-seven sketches,
  forming a volume of two hundred and fifty pages, mostly in blank verse.
  The thread which connects the chapters together is the emigration of a
  family group of Middle Pennsylvania to the Mississippi. The description of
  their early residence; the rural manners and pursuits; the natural scenery
  of their home; the phenomena of the seasons; the exhibitions of religious,
  political, and social life; the school; the camp meeting; the election;
  Independence Day, with an elevating love theme in the engagement of a
  village maiden to a poetic lover in Europe; the incidents of the voyage on
  the Ohio, with frequent episodes and patriotic aspirations, are all
  handled with an artist's eye for natural and moral beauty. The book
  presents a constant succession of truthful, pleasing images, in the
  healthy vein of the Goldsmiths and Bloomfields.

  The characteristics we have noted describe Mr. Read's poems in his several
  volumes, which have exhibited a steady progress and development, in the
  confidence of the writer, in plain and simple objects, in strength of
  fancy and poetic culture.

    -- [broken link] http://etext.lib.virginia.edu/eaf/authors/cal/tbrCal.html

Abdul Abulbul Amir -- Percy French

       
(Poem #358) Abdul Abulbul Amir
The sons of the Prophet are brave men and bold
And quite unaccustomed to fear,
But the bravest by far in the ranks of the Shah,
        Was Abdul Abulbul Amir.

If you wanted a man to encourage the van,
Or harass the foe from the rear,
Storm fort or redoubt, you had only to shout
        For Abdul Abulbul Amir.

Now the heroes were plenty and well known to fame
In the troops that were led by the Czar,
And the bravest of these was a man by the name
        Of Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.

One day this bold Russian, he shouldered his gun
And donned his most truculent sneer,
Downtown he did go where he trod on the toe
        Of Abdul Abulbul Amir.

Young man, quoth Abdul, has life grown so dull
That you wish to end your career?
Vile infidel, know, you have trod on the toe
        Of Abdul Abulbul Amir.

So take your last look at the sunshine and brook
And send your regrets to the Czar
For by this I imply, you are going to die,
        Count Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.

Then this bold Mameluke drew his trusty skibouk,
Singing, "Allah! Il Allah! Al-lah!"
And with murderous intent he ferociously went
        For Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.

They parried and thrust, they side-stepped and cussed,
Of blood they spilled a great part;
The philologist blokes, who seldom crack jokes,
        Say that hash was first made on the spot.

They fought all that night neath the pale yellow moon;
The din, it was heard from afar,
And huge multitudes came, so great was the fame,
        Of Abdul and Ivan Skavar.

As Abdul's long knife was extracting the life,
In fact he was shouting, "Huzzah!"
He felt himself struck by that wily Calmuck,
        Count Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.

The Sultan drove by in his red-breasted fly,
Expecting the victor to cheer,
But he only drew nigh to hear the last sigh,
        Of Abdul Abulbul Amir.

There's a tomb rises up where the Blue Danube rolls,
And graved there in characters clear,
Is, "Stranger, when passing, oh pray for the soul
        Of Abdul Abulbul Amir."

A splash in the Black Sea one dark moonless night
Caused ripples to spread wide and far,
It was made by a sack fitting close to the back,
        Of Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.

A Muscovite maiden her lone vigil keeps,
'Neath the light of the cold northern star,
And the name that she murmurs in vain as she weeps,
        Is Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.
-- Percy French
Ah, the wonders of the World Wide Web.

I first read this poem a good 15 years ago, in one of those marvellous
rainy-day activity books that noone seems to buy any more [1]. Abdul and
Ivan then dropped off my radar screen [2] for many years, and it was
only after starting the Minstrels that I remembered the doughty duo.
From remembrance to recovery, though, was a step both short and sweet,
thanks to 'the invisible dragons of the electronic night' [3]. I love
technology.

I also love the poem. I think that's partly due to the fact that I
discovered it when I was precisely the right age - eight years old - to
get the most out of reading it out loud. And make no mistake, it _is_ a
poem to be read out loud (or sung by drunken sailors) - with a large
crowd of people joining in on the last line of each stanza.

The simple pleasures of life, neh?

thomas.

[1] You know, those big colourful tomes with titles like 'Superbook' and
'The Book Of 1001 Things To Do', chock full of poems and puzzles and
stories and pictures and do-it-yourself projects and recipes and
histories... back when all the world and time was young :-)

[2] If you must know, I lost the book which housed them. It still causes
me trauma, that.

[3] William Gibson's phrase for search engines in general and arbitrage
trackers in particular... written a good decade before Mosaic was
created.

[Links]

Like all good anonymous poems, there are dozens of versions of the
ballad of good Abdullah. One of the more famous ones is called (not
unsurprisingly) 'Ivan Petrofsky Skevar'; you can read it at
[broken link] http://contemplator.com/folk3/ivan.html

The contemplator website also has MIDI files which will let you listen
to the tune as she was meant to be sung. I'd be grateful if someone
would do the needful and let me know what it's like (my computer,
unfortunately, is not MIDI-enabled).

Martin's last few posts (Tennyson's famous 'The Charge of the Light
Brigade' and Kipling's not-so-well-known sequel, 'The Last of the Light
Brigade') have also been about the Crimean War; you can read them (and
much much more) at the Minstrels website,
http://www.cs.rice.edu/~ssiyer/minstrels/

'Abdul Abulbul Amir' has that touch of lighthearted bloodthirstyness [4]
which children (of a certain sort, at least) so enjoy [5]. In that, it
reminds me irresistibly of Gilbert's 'Yarn of the Nancy Bell', at
poem #161

[4] The accompanying illustration showed Abdul and Ivan skewering each
other. Gruesome, but oh, so much fun :-)

[5] Roald Dahl, anyone?

[About Abdul and Ivan]

This song was written in 1877 by Percy French at Trinity College for a
college concert. His original title was Abdulla Bulbul Ameer. He sold it
to a publisher for five pounds. It was published without credit to him
and he never received royalties for its later success. Many sources
still list the author as anonymous.

My father was a Navy captain and this was one of his favorite songs.
According to the Book of Navy Songs, "This song is reresentative of the
non-nautical and non-naval songs that frequently become a favorite of
the wardrooms in the fleet. An English correspondent writes that
originally it was a ballad of the Russo-Turkish Wars." Given the date
and author, the Crimean War (1853-1856) is more likely the setting than
the earlier Russo-Turkish Wars.

This tune is also known as The Ballade of Ivan Petrofsky Skevar, for
which there are a few variations in the lyrics.

        -- Lesley Nelson, www.contemplator.com

[Brief Bio]

William Percy French was born on May 1, 1854 near Roscommon, Ireland.
(William would be known as Willie until taking the name Percy as his
stage name much later). His father was a landlord and his mother's
father was a clergyman.

Despite the lack of music background in his family, Willie demonstrated
talent for music and entertaining early in life. He performed as a child
in the district and when he was a student at Trinity College. It was at
Trinity College in 1877 that he wrote Abdulla Bulbul Ameer. He wrote the
song for a concert and sold it to a publisher for five pounds. The
publisher never credited French with authorship, and despite its later
popularity, French never received any royalties. French did not publish
another song (although he wrote many) until 1888 when Andy McElroe was
published.

French graduated from college as an engineer and worked for seven years
in Cavan as the Inspector of Drains. During that time he wrote numerous
songs and painted, which he considered his true talent.

In 1891 French's wife died and he was jobless. He toured the country on
his bicycle with a box of paints, painting and performing. He developed
a one-man show, where he sang the songs he composed. Then in 1891 he
began a partnership with Houston Collisson. Thereafter Collisson wrote
much of the music for the operas they produced, including The Irish
Girl. At the age of fifty French moved to London and worked and
performed on stage until his death in 1920.

Although Mountains of Mourne is his most famous song, Percy French is
best remembered for his comedic songs.

        -- Lesley Nelson, www.contemplator.com

[Endnote]

The one stanza of the poem which doesn't end in either of the
protagonists' names is also (imo) the one with the weakest final couplet
of all.

'They parried and thrust, they side-stepped and cussed,
Of blood they spilled a great part;
The philologist blokes, who seldom crack jokes,
        Say that hash was first made on the spot.'

Oddly, although I quite distinctly remember the first line, I'm pretty
sure that the second read 'Of blood they both spilled a great deal', and
the third and fourth were completely different from the published
version. If anyone out there knows of a variant form, I'd be glad of an
pointer.

The Last of the Light Brigade -- Rudyard Kipling

       
(Poem #357) The Last of the Light Brigade
 There were thirty million English who talked of England's might,
 There were twenty broken troopers who lacked a bed for the night.
 They had neither food nor money, they had neither service nor trade;
 They were only shiftless soldiers, the last of the Light Brigade.

 They felt that life was fleeting; they knew not that art was long,
 That though they were dying of famine, they lived in deathless song.
 They asked for a little money to keep the wolf from the door;
 And the thirty million English sent twenty pounds and four!

 They laid their heads together that were scarred and lined and grey;
 Keen were the Russian sabres, but want was keener than they;
 And an old Troop-Sergeant muttered, "Let us go to the man who writes
 The things on Balaclava the kiddies at school recites."

 They went without bands or colours, a regiment ten-file strong,
 To look for the Master-singer who had crowned them all in his song;
 And, waiting his servant's order, by the garden gate they stayed,
 A desolate little cluster, the last of the Light Brigade.

 They strove to stand to attention, to straighten the toil-bowed back;
 They drilled on an empty stomach, the loose-knit files fell slack;
 With stooping of weary shoulders, in garments tattered and frayed,
 They shambled into his presence, the last of the Light Brigade.

 The old Troop-Sergeant was spokesman, and "Beggin' your pardon," he said,
 "You wrote o' the Light Brigade, sir. Here's all that isn't dead.
 An' it's all come true what you wrote, sir, regardin' the mouth of hell;
 For we're all of us nigh to the workhouse, an, we thought we'd call an' tell.

 "No, thank you, we don't want food, sir; but couldn't you take an' write
 A sort of 'to be continued' and 'see next page' o' the fight?
 We think that someone has blundered, an' couldn't you tell 'em how?
 You wrote we were heroes once, sir. Please, write we are starving now."

 The poor little army departed, limping and lean and forlorn.
 And the heart of the Master-singer grew hot with "the scorn of scorn."
 And he wrote for them wonderful verses that swept the land like flame,
 Till the fatted souls of the English were scourged with the thing called Shame.

 O thirty million English that babble of England's might,
 Behold there are twenty heroes who lack their food to-night;
 Our children's children are lisping to "honour the charge they made-"
 And we leave to the streets and the workhouse the charge of the Light Brigade!
-- Rudyard Kipling
            (1891)

Surprisingly enough, this is not one of Kipling's better known poems. Or,
perhaps, not so surprising - while Tennyson's account of heroism in the face
of overwhelming odds caught and stirred the public imagination, Kipling's
scathingly acid revelation of the way the world treated its heroes seems,
like most of the uncomfortable details connected with the war, to have been
swept under the carpet. There is a glamour inherent in the charge of the
Light Brigade - even though it was obvious "someone had blunder'd" - that
the real life plight of Thomas Atkins, Esq., cannot match.

And of course, it was Thomas Atkins that Kipling was chiefly concerned with.
From his magnificent 'Tommy' to the unforgettable 'Gunga Din', Kipling saw
war neither as the noble endeavour earlier poets made it out to be
(sometimes stirringly heroic, sometimes ineffably sad, but always noble) or
as the graphic nightmare later poets (most notably Wilfred Owen) splahsed
across the world's consciousness. Kipling's war poems were highly personal;
his soldiers ordinary men doing a misunderstood and underappreciated job in
the best way they could. (Like much else of Kipling, this attitude is no
longer fashionable; the which, of course, detracts nothing from his poetry,
but does help explain its fluctuating repute).

Personally? This is one of those poems to which comments seem almost
superfluous - suffice it to say that it made me shiver.

References:

  "Dowered with the hate of hate, the scorn of scorn,
  The love of love."
                  --  Tennyson, 'The Poet'.

  "Honour the charge they made!
  Honour the Light Brigade,
  Noble six hundred!
                  -- Tennyson, 'Charge of the Light Brigade'

  Oh, and don't miss the pun at the end :)

Links and Background:

  For more on Kipling's war poetry, see the commentary to Tommy
  (poem #43)

  For more background information on the Crimean war and the Light Brigade,
  see Tennyson's famous poem and the accompanying comments, poem #355

  How rooted in fact is today's poem? I couldn't find too many references -
  there was the following...

    "Kipling could make topical social comment with his poems and often did
    so. His poem "The Last of The Light Brigade took in context Tennyson's
    The Charge of The Light Brigade and the inexcusable treatment that the
    British Government gave the surviving veterans of that battle of
    Balakava during the Crimean War (where Florence Nightengale achieved
    immortatlity as a nurse)."

            -- [broken link] http://www.netten.net/~bmassey/page4.html#Kipling

  but there is no evidence that Tennyson 'wrote for them wonderful verses
  that swept the land like flame'. Still, all in all the rest is highly
  believable - to quote Suresh Ramasubramanian's comment on the previous
  poem, "Lord Cardigan, after the battle, calmly went back to his yacht and
  had dinner, as usual.  That huge and senseless loss was par for the
  course."

  And finally, for a Kipling biography, assessments and other random
  information, see the comments attached to his many other poems on
  Minstrels, [broken link] http://www.cs.rice.edu/~ssiyer/minstrels/index_poet.html

m.