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The Instruction Manual -- John Ashbery

Guest poem sent in by Seema Ramanarayanan
(Poem #1150) The Instruction Manual
As I sit looking out of a window of the building
I wish I did not have to write the instruction manual on the uses of a new
    metal.
I look down into the street and see people, each walking with an inner peace,
And envy them--they are so far away from me!
Not one of them has to worry about getting out this manual on schedule.
And, as my way is, I begin to dream, resting my elbows on the desk and leaning
    out of the window a little,
Of dim Guadalajara! City of rose-colored flowers!
City I wanted most to see, and did not see, in Mexico!
But I fancy I see, under the press of having to write the instruction manual,
Your public square, city, with its elaborate little bandstand!
The band is playing Scheherazade by Rimsky-Korsakov.
Around stand the flower girls, handing out rose- and lemon-colored flowers,
Each attractive in her rose-and-blue striped dress (Oh! such shades of rose and
    blue),
And nearby is the little white booth where women in green serve you green and
    yellow fruit.
The couples are parading; everyone is in a holiday mood.
First, leading the parade, is a dapper fellow
Clothed in deep blue. On his head sits a white hat
And he wears a mustache, which has been trimmed for the occasion.
His dear one, his wife, is young and pretty; her shawl is rose, pink, and
white.
Her slippers are patent leather, in the American fashion,
And she carries a fan, for she is modest, and does not want the crowd to see
    her face too often.
But everybody is so busy with his wife or loved one
I doubt they would notice the mustacioed man's wife.
Here come the boys! They are skipping and throwing little things on the
sidewalk
Which is made of gray tile. One of them, a little older, has a toothpick in his
    teeth.
He is silenter than the rest, and affects not to notice the pretty young girls
    in white.
But his friends notice them, and shout their jeers at the laughing girls.
Yet soon this all will cease, with the deepening of their years,
And love bring each to the parade grounds for another reason.
But I have lost sight of the young fellow with the toothpick.
Wait--there he is--on the other side of the bandstand.
Secluded from his friends, in earnest talk with a young girl
Of fourteen or fifteen. I try to hear what they are saying
But it seems they are just mumbling something--shy words of love, probably.
She is slightly taller than he, and looks quietly down into his sincere eyes.
She is wearing white. The breeze ruffles her long fine black hair against her
    olive cheek.
Obviously she is in love. The boy, the young boy with the toothpick, he is in
    love too;
His eyes show it. Turning from this couple,
I see there is an intermission in the concert.
The paraders are resting and sipping drinks through straws
(The drinks are dispensed from a large glass crock by a lady in dark blue),
And the musicians mingle among them, in their creamy white uniforms, and talk
About the weather, perhaps, or how their kids are doing at school.

Let us take this opportunity to tiptoe into one of the side streets.
Here you may see one of those white houses with green trim
That are so popular here. Look--I told you!
It is cool and dim inside, but the patio is sunny.
An old woman in gray sits there, fanning herself with a palm leaf fan.
She welcomes us to her patio, and offers us a cooling drink.
"My son is in Mexico City," she says. "He would welcome you too
If he were here. But his job is with a bank there.
Look, here is a photograph of him."
And a dark-skinned lad with pearly teeth grins out at us from the worn leather
    frame.
We thank her for her hospitality, for it is getting late
And we must catch a view of the city, before we leave, from a good high place.
That church tower will do--the faded pink one, there against the fierce blue of
the sky. Slowly we enter.
The caretaker, an old man dressed in brown and gray, asks us how long we have
    been in the city, and how we like it here.
His daughter is scrubbing the steps--she nods to us as we pass into the tower.
Soon we have reached the top, and the whole network of the city extends
    before us.
there is the rich quarter, with its houses of pink and white, and its
    crumbling, leafy terraces.
There is the poorer quarter, its homes a deep blue.
There is the market, where men are selling hats and swatting flies
And there is the public library, painted several shades of pale green and
beige.
Look! There is the square we just came from, with the promenaders.
There are fewer of them, now that the heat of the day has increased.
But the young boy and girl still lurk in the shadows of the bandstand.
And there is the home of the little old lady--
She is still sitting in the patio, fanning herself.
How limited, but how complete withal, has been our experience of Guadalajara!
We have seen young love, married love, and the love of an aged mother for her
    son.
We have heard the music, tasted the drinks, and looked at colored houses.
What more is there to do, except stay? And that we cannot do.
And as a last breeze freshens the top of the weathered old tower, I turn my
gaze
Back to the instruction manual which has made me dream of Guadalajara.
-- John Ashbery
Notes:

This poem is from Ashbery's first book of poems. I consider it Ashbery's ode
to the power of imagination.  It immediately evokes an image of someone
staring outside the window lost in a world of their own - a situation i
frequently find myself in except not producing anything quite as beautiful
as this poem.

Am pasting an excerpt from David Lehman's book on the New York School of
Poetry, 'The Last Avant-Garde':

  "In the end, the New York School of poetry has less to do with the city
  than with a state of mind to which the poet would like to travel. "The
  Instruction Manual," the most admired poem in Ashbery's first book, Some
  Trees, tells of this state of mind. The poem records a daydream about
  escaping from a boring office in New York City, where the task of writing
  a manual "on the uses of a new metal" faces the dreamer, a professional
  writer, who succeeds in willing himself-- temporarily-- to sunny
  Guadaljara....

  The dreamer beholds a storybook spectacle whose charms are all on the
  surface....  The poem is not really about Guadaljara at all. It is rather
  a parable of the imagination with its power to fulfil desire and supply
  any lack. The imagination provides a vehicle of escape into a Guadaljara
  better than the real thing if only because the metal traveler is spared
  the inconveniences of packing bags, booking rooms, exchanging currency,
  and suffering from indigestion. But the vision also has a tragic
  propensity for vanishing. "What else is there to do but stay, and that we
  cannot do," Ashbery writes in a modern restatement of the pathos at the
  end of the departed vision in Keats's "Ode to a Nightingale" ("Adieu! The
  fancy cannot cheat so well / As she is famed to do, deceiving elf")....
  Ashbery... is at heart a Romantic poet, who conceives of the Imagination
  as a realm apart from experience, or reality, or time, to which it lends
  the redemptive enchantment that we seek in art and that may come closer to
  fulfilling the promise of happiness than any form of human activity. "

        -- [broken link] http://www.drizzle.com/~ash/9901/imagined/ashbery.html

Seema

Links:

 Here's a link to a biography:
 http://www.kirjasto.sci.fi/ashber.htm

 Here are links to other poems by Ashbery:
 [broken link] http://www.poets.org/poets/poets.cfm?prmID=242

[Martin adds]

I was strongly reminded of Gibson's "The Ice Cart" [Poem #622].

And, speaking of Guadalajara and dreams thereof, don't miss Lehrer's "Old
Mexico":
  http://members.aol.com/quentncree/lehrer/mexico.htm

Don't Go Far Off -- Pablo Neruda

Guest poem sent in by Sitaram Iyer
(Poem #1149) Don't Go Far Off
 Don't go far off, not even for a day, because --
 because -- I don't know how to say it: a day is long
 and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
 when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.

 Don't leave me, even for an hour, because
 then the little drops of anguish will all run together,
 the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
 into me, choking my lost heart.

 Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;
 may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.
 Don't leave me for a second, my dearest,

 because in that moment you'll have gone so far
 I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,
 Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?
-- Pablo Neruda
In passing through a transient spell of self-inflicted grief, I'm
finding a certain measure of solace in several of Neruda's poems -- not
so much as a distraction, but as a gentle voice that understands and
speaks the pain. Although this poem reflects only an approximation of
the sentiment, the metaphors strike the right sort of chord, helping
convey the appropriate sense of (potential) loss. (I'll get over this
bottomless black mood in a few days, so don't bother sympathizing :))

Sitaram

Misty -- Ruth Padel

Guest poem sent in by Belinda Beresford
(Poem #1148) Misty
 How I love

 The darkwave music
 Of a sun's eclipse
 You can't see for cloud

 The saxophonist playing 'Misty'
 In the High Street outside Barclays

 Accompanied by mating-calls
 Sparked off
 In a Jaguar alarm

 The way you're always there
 Where I'm thinking

 Or several beats ahead.
-- Ruth Padel
From "Rembrandt Would Have Loved You"

This poem was part of the Poems on the Underground, a series of poetry
which appeared in advertising spaces on the tube. It is a sparse poem,
yet I find it incredibly evocative of London. And yes, of course, I did
meet someone who made me think of this poem, so I gave him a copy of
the poster. About a month later he told me the poem expressed the way
he felt about me - and then ran like hell...

Belinda

Links:
  The Ruth Padel Official website:
    [broken link] http://www.rpadel.dircon.co.uk/frontpage.htm

  Biography:
    [broken link] http://www.rpadel.dircon.co.uk/rp_frameset.htm

  A picture of the Underground poster with today's poem:
    http://www.poetrysociety.org.uk/education/undpost2.htm

The Ballad of the Imam and the Shah -- James Fenton

Guest poem sent in by Reed C. Bowman
(Poem #1147) The Ballad of the Imam and the Shah
(An Old Persian Legend)

to C. E. H.

 It started with a stabbing at a well
 Below the minarets of Isfahan.
 The widow took her son to see them kill
 The officer who'd murdered her old man.
 The child looked up and saw the hangman's work --
 The man who'd killed his father swinging high,
 The mother said: 'My child, now be at peace.
 The wolf has had the fruits of all his crime.'

  From felony to felony to crime
  From robbery to robbery to loss
  From calumny to calumny to spite
  From rivalry to rivalry to zeal

 All this was many centuries ago --
 The kind of thing that couldn't happen now --
 When Persia was the empire of the Shah
 And many were the furrows on his brow.
 The peacock the symbol of his throne
 And many were the jewels and its eyes
 And many were the prisons in the land
 And many were the torturers and spies.

  From tyranny to tyranny to war
  From dynasty to dynasty to hate
  From villainy to villainy to death
  From policy to policy to grave

 The child grew up a clever sort of chap
 And he became a mullah, like his dad --
 Spent many years in exile and disgrace
 Because he told the world the Shah was bad.
 'Believe in God,' he said, 'believe in me.
 Believe me when I tell you who I am.
 Now chop the arm of wickedness away.
 Hear what I say, I am the great Imam.'

  From heresy to heresy to fire
  From clerisy to clerisy to fear
  From litany to litany to sword
  From fallacy to fallacy to wrong

 And so the Shah was forced to flee abroad.
 The Imam was the ruler in his place.
 He started killing everyone he could
 To make up for the years of his discgrace.
 And when there were no enemies at home
 He sent his men to Babylon to fight.
 And when he'd lost an army in that way
 He knew what God was telling him was right.

  From poverty to poverty to wrath
  From agony to agony to doubt
  From malady to malady to shame
  From misery to misery to fight

 He sent the little children out to war.
 They went out with his portrait in their hands.
 The desert and the marshes filled with blood.
 The mothers heard the news in Isfahan.
 Now Babylon is buried under dirt.
 Persepolis is peeping through the sand.
 The child who saw his father's killer killed
 Has slaughtered half the children in the land.

 From felony
 to robbery
 to calumny
 to rivalry
 to tyranny
 to dynasty
 to villainy
 to policy
 to heresy
 to clerisy
 to litany
 to fallacy
 to poverty
 to agony
 to malady
 to misery --

 The song is yours. Arrange it as you will.
 Remember where each word fits in the line
 And every combination will be true
 And every permutation will be fine:

  From policy to felony to fear
  From litany to heresy to fire
  From villainy to tyranny to war
  From tyranny to dynasty to shame

  From poverty to malady to grave
  From malady to agony to spite
  From agony to misery to hate
  From misery to policy to fight!
-- James Fenton
[Note: if you can't get this by e-mail, the "From...to...to..."
sections, as well as the first part of the title, "The Ballad of the
Imam and the Shah", should be set in italics.]

I heard this poem on BBC Radio 4, read by the poet. 'Read' is an
insufficient word, though, for the passionate, angry, bitter rendition
he gave. I've been trying to get them to put up the audio file on
bbc.co.uk so it can be heard more widely, but I was impressed upon
finding it and reading it to see how strongly it encourages the style of
reading Fenton gave. It was read fast, and staccato, with heavy emphasis
on the line endings. The first and second normal verses start out a bit
slower, less emphasized and broken, but the emphasis and staccato feel
increases with the speed from the first to the second to the third,
while the refrain is all but spat out full speed from the beginning.

Now that I've got a book of his poems (Out of Danger, Noonday Press
1994), I find he frequently uses repetitions and permutations with
similar effect. In some ways the strange and bleak refrain running
through this poem could start to sound like Dr. Suess, but for the
actual vocabulary employed.

This poem could in one respect be summarized by the phrase 'plus ça
change, plus c'est la même chose'. The will to end the oppression of the
Shah brings about another oppression no less horrible. It is about
repetition, the historical perpetuation of violence and oppression, and
repetition and circularity occurs on several levels in the poem, and is
driven home by the final part, encouraging you to rearrange the terms,
causes and effects as you will, and come up with truth in each and every
permutation. But also the whole poem, which keeps up the pretense of
speaking of times long past, in the atemporal terms of a legend, reminds
us that this is the way things were in the beginning, are now, and ever
shall be.

The structure of almost every line reinforces the
crumbling-and-tumbledown-and-crash rhythm with which Fenton read it,
which makes it all the more bleak and grim. The curious, surprising,
direct repetition in the beginning of each line of what I'm calling the
refrain - 'From x to x to y' - drives home the cyclic nature of the
errors and horrors, and yet sees, or foresees, the final collapse into
the worst, final consequence of its monosyllabic end.

RCB

[Martin adds:

 In later correspondence, discussing the oddly scanning line "The peacock
 the symbol of his throne", which I thought perhaps missing a word in the
 transcription, Reed confirmed that the line was correct, and added:

   The poem, as perhaps I should have mentioned, was set to music, along
   with several others in the book, mostly about horrible, bleak wars
   and tyrannies of recent history, in a 'pocket musical' called 'Out of
   the East' (which is also the title of an incredible poem, similarly
   depressing and yet drivingly energetic, about the war in Cambodia and
   the making of the Khmer Rouge). It was performed in 1990 as a song.
   But when I heard it on the BBC it was just a reading by the author,
   however energetically performed. In the musical version, that
   hypometric line could sound natural - I'd love to hear it.
]

The Young British Soldier -- Rudyard Kipling

Continuing the current war poems theme, a guest poem sent in by
Mark G. Ryan :

Here's another addition to the war poem series.  This one is much earthier
than the Andrew Motion poem [Poem #1143], and a lot more fun.  The last
stanza has a particular relevance to current events, and I've added some
history in the notes.
(Poem #1146) The Young British Soldier
 When the 'arf-made recruity goes out to the East
 'E acts like a babe an' 'e drinks like a beast,
 An' 'e wonders because 'e is frequent deceased
 Ere 'e's fit for to serve as a soldier.
       Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
       Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
       Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
          So-oldier _of_ the Queen!

 Now all you recruities what's drafted to-day,
 You shut up your rag-box an' 'ark to my lay,
 An' I'll sing you a soldier as far as I may:
 A soldier what's fit for a soldier.
       Fit, fit, fit for a soldier . . .

 First mind you steer clear o' the grog-sellers' huts,
 For they sell you Fixed Bay'nets that rots out your guts --
 Ay, drink that 'ud eat the live steel from your butts --
 An' it's bad for the young British soldier.
       Bad, bad, bad for the soldier . . .

 When the cholera comes -- as it will past a doubt --
 Keep out of the wet and don't go on the shout,
 For the sickness gets in as the liquor dies out,
 A' it crumples the young British soldier.
       Crum-, crum-, crumples the soldier . . .

 But the worst o' your foes is the sun over'ead:
 You must wear your 'elmet for all that is said:
 If 'e finds you uncovered 'e'll knock you down dead,
 An' you'll die like a fool of a soldier.
       Fool, fool, fool of a soldier . . .

 If you're cast for fatigue by a sergeant unkind,
 Don't grouse like a woman nor crack on nor blind;
 Be handy and civil, and then you will find
 That it's beer for the young British soldier.
       Beer, beer, beer for the soldier . . .

 Now, if you must marry, take care she is old --
 A troop-sergeant's widow's the nicest I'm told,
 For beauty won't help if your rations is cold,
 Nor love ain't enough for a soldier.
       'Nough, 'nough, 'nough for a soldier . . .

 If the wife should go wrong with a comrade, be loath
 To shoot when you catch 'em -- you'll swing, on my oath! --
 Make 'im take 'er and keep 'er:  that's Hell for them both,
 An' you're shut o' the curse of a soldier.
       Curse, curse, curse of a soldier . . .

 When first under fire an' you're wishful to duck,
 Don't look nor take 'eed at the man that is struck,
 Be thankful you're livin', and trust to your luck
 And march to your front like a soldier.
       Front, front, front like a soldier . . .

 When 'arf of your bullets fly wide in the ditch,
 Don't call your Martini a cross-eyed old bitch;
 She's human as you are -- you treat her as sich,
 An' she'll fight for the young British soldier.
       Fight, fight, fight for the soldier . . .

 When shakin' their bustles like ladies so fine,
 The guns o' the enemy wheel into line,
 Shoot low at the limbers an' don't mind the shine,
 For noise never startles the soldier.
       Start-, start-, startles the soldier . . .

 If your officer's dead and the sergeants look white,
 Remember it's ruin to run from a fight:
 So take open order, lie down, and sit tight,
 And wait for supports like a soldier.
       Wait, wait, wait like a soldier . . .

 When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,
 And the women come out to cut up what remains,
 Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains
 An' go to your Gawd like a soldier.
       Go, go, go like a soldier,
       Go, go, go like a soldier,
       Go, go, go like a soldier,
          So-oldier _of_ the Queen!
-- Rudyard Kipling
Here we have Kipling's view of what the ordinary soldier was likely
to encounter in "the East".   Anyone feel like volunteering?

The colorful advice he gives the soldier about how to treat his rifle
("Don't call your Martini a cross-eyed old bitch") reminds me of of the
guest poem by General Rupertus [Poem #1115].  Unlike that poem, this one is
unlikely to win many new recruits, since it goes into some of the less
romantic aspects of the life of an Imperial soldier (e.g., sunstroke and
cholera).

While the Ruptertus poem was painfully sincere, this one is tinged by irony
(at least to my ears).  Poems in dialect aren't popular these days, but as a
dramatic device it does put some distance between the author and the
sentiment expressed in the poem.  Here it allows Kipling to write on two
levels at once, and no doubt contributed to his popularity, so that both an
infantryman and a liberal could find something to like in this poem.

Kipling also has an accurate ear for speech and a sense of humor -- not
common traits in poets of any age.

It has long been popular to regard Kipling as a jingoist, despite the
efforts of Randall Jarrell (in the 1960s) and other critics to rehabilitate
him.  Yet Kipling here shows compassion for his young soldier, and in other
poems and in his fiction he writes about people high and low, from Rajahs to
prostitutes.  His viewed colonial life was steady and he viewed it whole, as
the saying goes.  While today we can not abide Kipling's language (e.g.,
his poems about "Darkies" and "Fuzzy-Wuzzies"), we might do well to emulate
his sympathy for ordinary people and the knowledge of the cultures he writes
about, gained as both a journalist and a resident in India. (Kipling would
probably have found the American terms "freedom fighter" and "collateral
damage" equally distasteful.)

In the context of this poem, it is a bit sobering to reflect on the British
experience in Afghanistan, which they conquered three times but never held,
despite vast improvements in British equipment and use of successively
larger forces.  This is worth telling in some detail.

Britain had a fairly easy time taking Kabul during the first Afghan war of
1838, but by the end only a single man returned alive.  Their invasion force
consisted of 9,500 men of the East India Company and 6,000 men of Shah
Shajan's army, an individual who was deeply unpopular in Afghanistan, but
whom the British were trying to install on the Afghan throne.  This mixed
force was referred to as the Army of the Indus.

After a detour in order to settle an old score in the Sind, the army reached
the Bolan Pass.  The first difficulty encountered they encountered in
Afghanistan was the lack of food.  The army had been expected to live off
the land, but this proved not to be possible in the Afghan winter.
Fortunately, they were able to buy 10,000 sheep from the Baluchis, "albeit
at a grossly inflated price." [1]

On April 25, 1839, Kandahar was taken without resistance, its ruler having
fled to Kabul.  Women through flowers and cheered as the Army marched though
the streets.  However, when Shah Shajan decided to hold a ceremonial durban
in his own honor outside the city, with General Keene parading the British
troops, only about 100 Kandaharis turned out to watch the show.  This should
have been a clue to the British, who instead proclaimed the taking of
Kandahar a great victory.

The next town, Ghazni, was fortified with high stone walls and proved a
harder nut to crack.  The British had no siege guns, and weren't prepared to
wait for any to be brought up.  An ingenious plan and treachery inside the
city allowed British sappers to demolish the city gates.  At the crucial
moment a bugler became confused and blew retreat instead of advance.
Fortunately the mistake was soon rectified, and in less than an hour the
city was taken, the British losing only 17 men.

The army advanced to Kabul without meeting serious resistance, and took the
city in the first days of July without a shot being fired.  The British
installed Shah Shajan and quickly returned to business as usual.  The bulk
of the army withdrew and the British settled down a life not markedly
different from the Indian hill stations, which included race meetings,
amateur dramatics, polo and cricket.  Some of the men had brought their
families.  Among the others, liaisons between British men and afghan women
were common, many of which women already had Afghan husbands.  Meanwhile,
the cantonment was not well situated for defense and every move the British
made was watched from the surrounding hills.

For a year nothing happened.  Then on November 2, 1840, a mob gathered at
the residence of Alexander Burnes, the deputy British envoy and one of the
chief womanizers, who had foolishly chosen to live in the city rather than
in the cantonment. When the crowd could not be induced to disperse, Burnes
ordered his Sepoy guard to open fire.  Burnes, his Sepoys and his entire
household were killed.  One account says that Burnes tried to escape in
native disguise, but was discovered in the garden and hacked to pieces.  The
force sent by Shah Shajar to assist Burnes was forced to turn back.

In the cantonment, the firing could be heard, but senior envoy Sir William
Mcnaughten, perhaps concerned about his career, apparently could not decide
on a course of action.  Some troops were sent into the city, but not the
residence.  When the expected British retaliation did not occur, the riot
turned into a general uprising and a siege.

The British still had 4,500 men and considerable artillery in Kabul.  The
Afghans never directly assaulted the cantonment, preferring to snipe from a
hundred vantage points.  A British sortie to destroy two Afghan guns was
successful, but was soon surrounded when its own gun overheated, and forced
to fight its way back to cantonment, leaving 300 dead "on Afghanistan's
plains".

There were now 30,000 Afghan troops in Kabul, led by Akbar, the son of the
deposed leader, Dost Mohammed.  He gave an order to cut off all food to the
cantonment on pain of death.  Then, surprisingly, he proposed a truce if the
British would quit Kabul and take the hated Shah Shajar with them.

Instead, Mcnaughten negotiated a treated that would keep Shajar on
the throne and allow the British troops to remain until the spring and have
what we would call "peace with honor".  A meeting was arranged to cement
the new agreement.

Mcnaughten responded angrily when he was warned that this might be a trap.
Nonetheless he and three British political officers rode to the meeting and
to their deaths on December 23, 1840.  Later that day Mcnaughten's corpse,
with the head and limbs cut off, was hung from a pole in the bazaar.

The British military commander, Gen. Elphinstone, a 60 year-old veteran of
Waterloo, still did not feel able to retaliate.  As a result, surviving
deputy envoy Eldred Pottinger, who had tried to warn Mcnaughten of the
danger around Kabul, was forced to accept the Afghan terms with only a few
modifications.  These were that the British leave officers as hostages in
Kabul in return for safe passage to India.

Pottinger urged Gen. Elphinstone not to trust Akbar to move his force into
Bala Hissar which could be defended, but Elphinstone refused.  On January 6,
1842, the British contingent of 17,000 began their retreat to India.  About
700 of these were Europeans, soldiers and civilians.  The nearest British
garrison was in Jalalabad, over 90 miles away: not a huge distance, but
across snow-covered mountain passes.

There was no sign of Akbar's promised escort, and in the first hour of the
retreat the rear guard came under fire from snipers. During the first day,
Afghan horseman rushed the column again and again, driving off baggage
animals.  When the army made camp at the end of the first day, only 5 miles
had been made and only one tent remained from the baggage.

On the second day, the Afghans captured two of the five British field guns.
Akbar's representatives suggested that the British halt for the day while he
negotiate passage through the next stage, and amazingly, Elphinstone
complied.  Elphinstone also gave in to Akbar's demand that he surrender
three political officers (including Pottinger) as hostages.  Ironically, it
was to save their lives.

An ambush was waiting at the Koord-Cabool pass.  Withering fire poured down
from both sides.  A stream below the pass had to be forded some 13 times,
leaving the column totally exposed.  Perhaps 3000 were lost. Akbar himself
rode through the melee shouting in Persion (which many of the British knew)
to spare the British, and in Pushto (which the tribesmen knew) to kill
everyone.

On the third day, Akbar offered his protection to any families that would
surrender.  Elphinstone again trusted Akbar.  9 children, 8 women, and 2 men
accepted.  Though held captive many months, they too would survive.  The
attacks on the column continued.

By the forth day, on 700 soldiers and 4000 civilians remained alive.  Most
had fallen victim to the extreme cold, and any unable to march because of
frostbitten were left behind for the Afghans.

By the fifth day, when Elphinstone again rode into Akbar's camp to
negotiate, Akbar had lost whatever control he had had of the tribesmen.
Elphinstone was taken hostage, but managed to smuggle out a message to the
army to move on immediately.

That night the column found its path blocked by a barrier of thorns.  In the
darkness, the Red Coats attempted to cut an opening, but were discovered. In
the ensuing melee, all semblance of discipline broke down.  Dr. Brydan, an
army surgeon, was pulled off his horse by a knife-wealding Afghan, and only
an old copy of Blackwood's magazine, which he had thrust in his cap, saved
his life.  After managing to continue a way on foot, he met a mortally
wounded Indian soldier, who told him "Take my horse, and God send that you
get to Jahalabad in safety."

Only two groups survived the battle, one of one of 14 mounted men that Dr.
Brydan joined, and one of 45 soldiers and 20 officers.  The latter group got
as far as the village of Gandamak, only 30 miles from Jalalabad.  Surrounded
by Afghans and with only 40 rounds of ammunition left, all but 4 were slain.

Brydon's group did not get as far. In the village of Futtebad, apparently
friendly villages offered the British food.  This was another trap.  As the
British rested, scores of Afghan horsemen swarmed into the village.  all but
four were slain.  Three of the survivors were subsequently captured and
killed.

Brydan escaped on horseback.  He was pursued and repeatedly attacked. The
blade of his sword, his only weapon, was broken by a jezail bullet.  In the
last mile before Jalalabad, he threw the hilt of his sword into the face of
an Afghan attacker.  He thus became the only person to complete the
retreat-- the worst in British military history.

The Second Afghan War of 1878-1879 was less disastrous, but involved
setbacks that sound all too familiar today. Viceroy Lord Northbroke resigned
his post rather than follow orders from ministers "whose judgment he
believed to be disastrously distorted by Russaphobia." [3] Nevertheless, the
war begin Nov. 22, 1878 when a small British force of 37,500 invaded
Afghanistan.  The British fought their way through the high mountain passes
and were able to take Kabul, where they installed a government friendly to
Britain and signed a peace treaty.  But on September 2, 1879 the British
residency in Kabul was wiped out by a mob, with only a few able to escape.
British forces stationed in the Khyber Pass immediately set out to retake
Kabul, which they accomplished in October, removing the government they had
installed two months earlier and leaving the throne vacant.  A Holy War
(Jihad) was called for and c. 100,000 Afghans rallied to the cause." [3]
The British quickly found themselves trapped in Kabul.  They were forced to
leave Kabul and marched on Kandahar, which they took in the final action of
the war.  From a total force of 40,000, the British suffered 2,500
casualties, including 500 from cholera. [3]

(Interestingly, a recent report by the US Department of Defense concluded
that disease was a significant factor in Soviet losses in Afghanistan, which
led to Russia's decision to abandon its Afghan campaign.  So at least one
thing had not changed between 1878 and the 1980s.)

In 1901, the British instituted a policy of regular payments to the Afghan
tribes as a means to reduce border conflicts, although for the next decade
the British continued to fight against the Mahsud, Waziri, and Zakka Khel
Afridi tribesmen. [2]

There was yet a Third Anglo-Afghan War in 1919.  It begin when Afghan
monarch Amanullah Khan decided to attack across the Indian border in May,
1919.  The attack, described as a "Jihad", was timed to take advantage of
the unrest in India (the massacre by the British at Amritsar had just taken
place). It took the British by surprise and managed to capture a few
towns.[4]  The British responded with a massive invasion of Afghanistan
through the Khyber Pass.  This ground down to a stalemate where Amanullah
was forced to sue for peace.

The British experience is worth relating because, as of this moment,
American troops are still conducting operations in Afghanistan.  Some people
have forgotten this because of the looming war in Iraqi and the crisis in
North Korea.  But as we have seen, there is really no "all quiet" in
Afghanistan.

As to the larger questions of whether all this past carnage or current
military adventures are justified or achieved any lasting purpose, I leave
that to the reader.

On-line sources:

First Anglo-Afghan War: [1]
[broken link] http://www.geocities.com/Broadway/Alley/5443/afopen.htm (great site with map
and pictures)

Second Anglo-Afghan War: [2]
[broken link] http://www.onwar.com/aced/data/alpha/afguk1978.htm [3]
[broken link] http://stabi.hs-bremerhaven.de/whkmla/military/19cen/afghanwar2.html

Third Anglo-Afghan War:
[4] [broken link] http://www.workmall.com/wfb2001/afghanistan/afghanistan_history_third_
        anglo_afghan_war_and_independence.html
[5] [broken link] http://www.regiments.org/milhist/wars/20thcent/19afghan.htm