My thanks to Marcus Bales, for suggesting (and introducing me to) today's poem:
(Poem #1049) Down With Fanatics!
If I had my way with violent men I'd simmer them in oil, I'd fill a pot with bitumen And bring them to the boil. I execrate the terrorist And those who harbour him, And if I weren't a moralist I'd tear them limb from limb. Fanatics are an evil breed Whom decent men should shun; I'd like to flog them till they bleed, Yes, every mother's son, I'd like to tie them to a board And let them taste the cat, While giving praise, oh thank the Lord, That I am not like that. For we should love the human kind, As Jesus taught us to, And those who don't should be struck blind And beaten black and blue; I'd like to roast them in a grill And listen to them shriek, Then break them on the wheel until They turned the other cheek.
A delightfully sly poem; I love the way Woddis skewers both fanatics and the self-righteous hypocrites who would like to teach them a lesson. And he does it with such wicked relish... mmm, lovely. thomas. [Minstrels Links] We once ran a week of "hate rhymes": Poem #876, I Wish My Tongue were a Quiver -- Louis McKay Poem #877, I Do Not Love Thee, Dr Fell -- Tom Brown Poem #878, Frustration -- Dorothy Parker Other magnificent rants on the Minstrels include: Poem #185, A Glass of Beer -- David O'Bruadair Poem #266, The Litany for Doneraile -- Patrick O'Kelly Poem #840, The Travellers' Curse after Misdirection -- Robert Graves