Down With Fanatics! -- Roger Woddis

My thanks to Marcus Bales, for suggesting (and
introducing me to) today's poem:

(Poem #1049) Down With Fanatics! If I had my way with violent men I'd simmer them in oil, I'd fill a pot with bitumen And bring them to the boil. I execrate the terrorist And those who harbour him, And if I weren't a moralist I'd tear them limb from limb. Fanatics are an evil breed Whom decent men should shun; I'd like to flog them till they bleed, Yes, every mother's son, I'd like to tie them to a board And let them taste the cat, While giving praise, oh thank the Lord, That I am not like that. For we should love the human kind, As Jesus taught us to, And those who don't should be struck blind And beaten black and blue; I'd like to roast them in a grill And listen to them shriek, Then break them on the wheel until They turned the other cheek. -- Roger Woddis

A delightfully sly poem; I love the way Woddis skewers both fanatics and the
self-righteous hypocrites who would like to teach them a lesson. And he does
it with such wicked relish... mmm, lovely.

thomas.

[Minstrels Links]

We once ran a week of "hate rhymes":
Poem #876, I Wish My Tongue were a Quiver -- Louis McKay
Poem #877, I Do Not Love Thee, Dr Fell -- Tom Brown
Poem #878, Frustration -- Dorothy Parker

Other magnificent rants on the Minstrels include:
Poem #185, A Glass of Beer  -- David O'Bruadair
Poem #266, The Litany for Doneraile  -- Patrick O'Kelly
Poem #840, The Travellers' Curse after Misdirection -- Robert Graves