Untitled -- Dorothy Parker

Guest poem sent in by "Sandeep Bhadra"

(Poem #1744) Untitled I wish I could drink like a lady I can take one or two at the most Three and I'm under the table Four and I'm under the host -- Dorothy Parker

If we were going to have a theme about drinks in general, this one certainly
deserves mention. This poem is typical of Dorothy Parker's aesthetic --
crisp lines, to be meant for the dead-pan delivery of the truly blasé with
very little room for emotion or the pretence thereof. She makes no apology
for the love of her drink or for the consequences of binging on it. She
merely states the outcomes with the cold preciseness of a scientist, or, at
the very least, of an urban realist.

Decadent, self-aware and witty, Dorothy Parker's elite Manhattan social
circle included playwright George Kaufman and New Yorker founder Harold
Ross. They held many of their meetings at the Algonquin Hotel in New York,
which now offers a $10,000 martini, presumably in her honor. The Algonquin
also has this ode on all their napkins, in fond memory of their
distinguished patron.

Sandeep

[Martin adds]

Wikiquotes at least lists this as "attributed" to Dorothy Parker - does
anyone know for sure? It definitely sounds like authentic Parker to me.

martin

The Purist -- Ogden Nash

Guest poem submitted by Sandeep Bhadra :

(Poem #1510) The Purist I give you now Professor Twist, A conscientious scientist, Trustees exclaimed, "He never bungles!" And sent him off to distant jungles. Camped on a tropic riverside, One day he missed his loving bride. She had, the guide informed him later, Been eaten by an alligator. Professor Twist could not but smile. "You mean," he said, "a crocodile." -- Ogden Nash

I can see that there are quite a few Ogden Nashes in your collection, but
this particular one is a personal favourite. Unlike his longer rambling
poems, this one captures so much, so humourously and so accurately in so
little. It is a wonder no one thought of suggesting this one for your
anthology.

I can picture an old naturalist-academician in khakis through muddy swamps
in Central America, thoroughly devoted to newts and alligators and other
amphibians, with very little time for his loving bride. I think his almost
mathematical preciseness, even at a time of such utter loss, is not so much
an effect of sang-froid as it is of a habitual inclination to set the other
guy right - I have heard of that being called 'academic arrogance'. It's
pure reflex action for him - and the realisation that old habits die hard
bring out his smile. I should imagine that to be a very wry smile indeed!

The other cool thing is that with the first two lines, the poem is
introduced as an introduction. 'I give you now...' clearly indicates an
appearance on a dias/podium of some sort. What is so darkly funny is that
whoever is introducing Prof. Twist with these words had to chose this
anecdote to prove the professor's conscientiousness.

more on Ogden Nash (bio/poems) at:
 http://www.westegg.com/nash/
http://www.americanpoems.com/poets/nash

regards,
Sandeep.