Guest poem sent in by Frank O'Shea You are gone all serious, lately. Here is something to lighten the mood.
(Poem #1241) Stately as a Galleon
My neighbour, Mrs Fanshaw, is portly-plump and gay, She must be over sixty-seven, if she is a day. You might have thought her life was dull, It's one long whirl instead. I asked her all about it, and this is what she said: I've joined an Olde Thyme Dance Club, the trouble is that there Are too many ladies over, and no gentlemen to spare. It seems a shame, it's not the same, But still it has to be, Some ladies have to dance together, One of them is me. Stately as a galleon, I sail across the floor, Doing the Military Two-step, as in the days of yore. I dance with Mrs Tiverton; she's light on her feet, in spite Of turning the scale at fourteen stone, and being of medium height. So gay the band, So giddy the sight, Full evening dress is a must, But the zest goes out of a beautiful waltz When you dance it bust to bust. So, stately as two galleons, we sail across the floor, Doing the Valse Valeta as in the days of yore. The gent is Mrs Tiverton, I am her lady fair, She bows to me ever so nicely and I curtsey to her with care. So gay the band, So giddy the sight, But it's not the same in the end For a lady is never a gentleman, though She may be your bosom friend. So, stately as a galleon, I sail across the floor, Doing the dear old Lancers, as in the days of yore. I'm led by Mrs Tiverton, she swings me round and round And though she manoeuvres me wonderfully well I never get off the ground. So gay the band, So giddy the sight, I try not to get depressed. And it's done me a power of good to explode, And get this lot off my chest.
(1910-79) Born in London; her mother was sister of Nancy Astor. After school, she was "finished" at a private school in Paris. She met her husband when she was 17; they were married two years later and lived in a cottage on the Astor's Cliveden estate. Her first job was writing reviews of radio programs for The Observer. She got her first break in writing and performing on radio from Stephen Potter. She wrote monologues, poems and sketches for radio and later starred in films with people like Alastair Sims, George Cole and Frankie Howerd. Best known for the St. Trinians films. Also appeared in revues with people like Noel Coward, Edith Evans, Peter Ustinov. In the 70s she was a popular member of the panel of the BBC television program Face the Music and contributed to Thought for the Day It's sad that you probably couldn't do this kind of poem today without offending someone - old people, large people, fans of Olde Tyme dancing etc. You can find more information on Joyce Grenfell at http://users.bestweb.net/~foosie/grenfell.htm Frank O'Shea