Subscribe: by Email | in Reader

Cinderella -- Roald Dahl

Guest poem sent in by Ajit Narayanan
(Poem #1416) Cinderella
 I guess you think you know this story.
 You don't. The real one's much more gory.
 The phoney one, the one you know,
 Was cooked up years and years ago,
 And made to sound all soft and sappy
 just to keep the children happy.
 Mind you, they got the first bit right,
 The bit where, in the dead of night,
 The Ugly Sisters, jewels and all,
 Departed for the Palace Ball,
 While darling little Cinderella
 Was locked up in a slimy cellar,
 Where rats who wanted things to eat,
 Began to nibble at her feet.

 She bellowed 'Help!' and 'Let me out!
 The Magic Fairy heard her shout.
 Appearing in a blaze of light,
 She said: 'My dear, are you all right?'
 'All right?' cried Cindy .'Can't you see
 'I feel as rotten as can be!'
 She beat her fist against the wall,
 And shouted, 'Get me to the Ball!
 'There is a Disco at the Palace!
 'The rest have gone and 1 am jalous!
 'I want a dress! I want a coach!
 'And earrings and a diamond brooch!
 'And silver slippers, two of those!
 'And lovely nylon panty hose!
 'Done up like that I'll guarantee
 'The handsome Prince will fall for me!'
 The Fairy said, 'Hang on a tick.'
 She gave her wand a mighty flick
 And quickly, in no time at all,
 Cindy was at the Palace Ball!

 It made the Ugly Sisters wince
 To see her dancing with the Prince.
 She held him very tight and pressed
 herself against his manly chest.
 The Prince himself was turned to pulp,
 All he could do was gasp and gulp.
 Then midnight struck. She shouted,'Heck!
 Ive got to run to save my neck!'
 The Prince cried, 'No! Alas! Alack!'
 He grabbed her dress to hold her back.
 As Cindy shouted, 'Let me go!'
 The dress was ripped from head to toe.

 She ran out in her underwear,
 And lost one slipper on the stair.
 The Prince was on it like a dart,
 He pressed it to his pounding heart,
 'The girl this slipper fits,' he cried,
 'Tomorrow morn shall be my bride!
 I'll visit every house in town
 'Until I've tracked the maiden down!'
 Then rather carelessly, I fear,
 He placed it on a crate of beer.

 At once, one of the Ugly Sisters,
 (The one whose face was blotched with blisters)
 Sneaked up and grabbed the dainty shoe,
 And quickly flushed it down the loo.
 Then in its place she calmly put
 The slipper from her own left foot.
 Ah ha, you see, the plot grows thicker,
 And Cindy's luck starts looking sicker.

 Next day, the Prince went charging down
 To knock on all the doors in town.
 In every house, the tension grew.
 Who was the owner of the shoe?
 The shoe was long and very wide.
 (A normal foot got lost inside.)
 Also it smelled a wee bit icky.
 (The owner's feet were hot and sticky.)
 Thousands of eager people came
 To try it on, but all in vain.
 Now came the Ugly Sisters' go.
 One tried it on. The Prince screamed, 'No!'
 But she screamed, 'Yes! It fits! Whoopee!
 'So now you've got to marry me!'
 The Prince went white from ear to ear.
 He muttered, 'Let me out of here.'
 'Oh no you don't! You made a vow!
 'There's no way you can back out now!'
 'Off with her head!'The Prince roared back.
 They chopped it off with one big whack.
 This pleased the Prince. He smiled and said,
 'She's prettier without her head.'
 Then up came Sister Number Two,
 Who yelled, 'Now I will try the shoe!'
 'Try this instead!' the Prince yelled back.
 He swung his trusty sword and smack
 Her head went crashing to the ground.
 It bounced a bit and rolled around.
 In the kitchen, peeling spuds,
 Cinderella heard the thuds
 Of bouncing heads upon the floor,
 And poked her own head round the door.
 'What's all the racket? 'Cindy cried.
 'Mind your own bizz,' the Prince replied.
 Poor Cindy's heart was torn to shreds.
 My Prince! she thought. He chops off heads!
 How could I marry anyone
 Who does that sort of thing for fun?

 The Prince cried, 'Who's this dirty slut?
 'Off with her nut! Off with her nut!'
 Just then, all in a blaze of light,
 The Magic Fairy hove in sight,
 Her Magic Wand went swoosh and swish!
 'Cindy! 'she cried, 'come make a wish!
 'Wish anything and have no doubt
 'That I will make it come about!'
 Cindy answered, 'Oh kind Fairy,
 'This time I shall be more wary.
 'No more Princes, no more money.
 'I have had my taste of honey.
 I'm wishing for a decent man.
 'They're hard to find. D'you think you can?'
 Within a minute, Cinderella
 Was married to a lovely feller,
 A simple jam maker by trade,
 Who sold good home-made marmalade.
 Their house was filled with smiles and laughter
 And they were happy ever after.
-- Roald Dahl
There is a certain charm to retellings of old stories that defies analysis.
One gets a certain naughty thrill from reading the works of Guy Carryl, say,
or Roald Dahl's 'Revolting Rhymes' from which the above gem is taken. I
suppose these poems are all the more funny because they're stories which are
familiar, _sacred_ even, and a sudden change in tenor takes one's breath

Roald Dahl is, of course, a master at doing this. Many of his stories for
adults have that sudden and almost sacreligious twist, and his stories for
children (which I will always rate as the better of his works) tick because
of the clever turns that he gives to those old platitudes, those old
fairytales and those nursery rhymes, which children of a certain age grow to
despise with the contempt that comes with familiarity, and which he sends up
with unfailing precision and skill.

More of Dahl's 'Revolting Rhymes' at:
[broken link]

More of Dahl at:

Guy Carryl at:
Poem #273 - How a Cat Was Annoyed and a Poet Was Booted
Poem #94 -  The Embarrassing Episode of Little Miss Muffet
Poem #137 - The Sycophantic Fox and the Gullible Raven
and Gutenburg ('Fables for the Frivolous',
entry=6438&full=yes&ftpsite= ).

- Ajit Q.

Some other fairy-tale retellings on Minstrels:

Poem #242: The Pied Piper of Hamelin
Poem #961: The Wolf's Postcript to 'Little Red Riding Hood'
Poem #978: Cinderella

30 comments: ( or Leave a comment )

Anonymous said...

Kanye West's Dark fantasy directly mirrors the first 10 lines of this poem:
"You might think you peeped the scene
You haven't, he real one's far too mean
The watered down one, the one you know
Was made up centuries ago
They made it sound all wack and corny
Yes it's awful, blasted boring
Twisted fiction, sick addiction
Well gather 'round children
Zip it, listen!"

Viagra Online said...

I think you're the best blogger, absolutely. I've been reading this blog since the first edition and all the poems are wonderful, is the soul of dreams... like the song, and in this post you did a great job, because this skills can't be ignored.

Anonymous said...

that was a bit boring!

Anonymous said...

yes yes yes and cinderella had a dance yes that was so interesting not!

Invertir en oro said...

Good morning, I like to find information to help me grow as a person, thanks for sharing this

valuable information, good job

Inversiones en petroleo said...

Hello. I would like to congratulate you for the post, is very good, also I like a lot of

reading and researching topics related to your post

Zach said...

Well, I see the anonymous brigade have found your blog to kindly share their oh-so-informed opinions with us. Aren't we lucky!

Anonymous said...

good poem shame he's dead

Anonymous said...

I really, really like Roald Dahl's books, I always read them!
My favorite of them all, is, believe it or not, Roald Dahl's Revolting Rhymes, my favorite rhyme would have to be Cinderella!
I would like to know a lot more about why Dahl decided to write these rhymes?
P.S. In school I'm doing a play of Cinderella Revolting Rhymes! I'm so excited!

Anonymous said...

I am doing this as a play for my school concert but we had to change "slut" to "mutt" It would of been funny if we didn't!

Anonymous said...

how were metaphors and similies used in this poem?

Judi Online said...

This is a fantastic website and I can not recommend you guys enough. Full of useful resource and great layout very easy on the eyes. Agen Sbobet said...

News you wrote is very nice and made ​​me feel at home reading on your website. But I apologize in advance because I wanted to ask you to read the article kata kata lucu, kata kata mutiara, kata kata romantis, kata kata bijak, kata kata cinta, pakar seo and many other interesting articles that can be read on my website ( pasang iklan ). said...

Thank you for your very nice article, do not forget to read my articles also kata kata bijak, kata kata cinta, kata kata romantis, kata kata motivasi, status fb lucu, status fb romantis and many other interesting articles on my blog that.

cerita humor dewasa said...

Thank you for your very nice article, do not forget to read my articles also humor dewasa, status fb galau, status fb romantis, status fb lucu and many other interesting articles on my blog that.

resep kue kering said...

Good writing and interesting to note, thank you! see also my article about resep kue and resep masakan as well as please the value of my website saatnya yes! greetings success for us all.

William Smith said...

This is such a great post, and was thinking much the same myself. BEST SEO SERVICES | TAC Casino Night | Another great update.

susi wijayanti said...

Thats interesting fact, thank for sharing, can you explain the method? i thing this is new for me and i plant to visiting this regularry
obat herbal
crystal x asli
obat keputihan
crystal x
Ciri crystal x
I think you mean Portsea! :)

Thach Nguyen said...

Cung cấp thực phẩm chức năng bổ trợ sức khỏe cho người dùng hiệu quả nhất tại muathuoctot. Những mặt hàng ví dụ như: kem chống rạn da stretch mark
kẹo cai thuốc kirkland gum
thuốc dhea
thuốc điều trị bệnh sỏi thận
thuốc chống ung thư
thuốc nở ngực an toàn

Anonymous said...

mengobati kutil di kelamin
mengobati kutil kelamin
pengobatan kutil di kelamin
mengobati kutil di kelamin yg ampuh
mengobati kutil di kelamin yang mujarab
apa obat sakit sipilis
obat sakit sipilis
pengobatan sakit sipilis
apa obat sakit sipilis itu
obat untuk sakit sipilis
obat ambeyen stadium 1
obat ambeyen stadium 2
obat ambeyen stadium 3
obat ambeyen stadium 4
pengobatan ambeyen stadium 1
obat kutil di kemaluan yg bagus
obat kutil di kemaluan yang bagus
pengobatan kutil di kemaluan yg bagus
obat kutil di kemaluan yg bagus dan aman
pengobatan kutil di kemaluan yg bagus dan aman
obat kutil kelamin atau kutil di kemaluan yg ampuh
obat kutil kelamin atau kutil di kemaluan
obat kutil kelamin atau kutil di kemaluan ampuh
obat kutil kelamin yg ampuh
obat kutil di kemaluan yg ampuh
obat kutil di kemaluan alami tanpa operasi
obat kutil kemaluan alami tanpa operasi
obat kutil di kemaluan tanpa operasi
pengobatan kutil di kemaluan alami tanpa operasi
pengobatan kutil kemaluan alami tanpa operasi
obat oles kutil kelamin kutil kelamin
obat oles kutil kelamin atau kutil kemaluan
pengobatan oles kutil kelamin kutil kelamin
pengobatan oles kutil kelamin
pengobatan oles kutil kelamin atau kutil kelamin
apa obat wasir yg bagus?
apa obat wasir yg bagus dan ampuh?
apa obat wasir yg ampuh?
apa obat wasir yg bagus dan alami?
apa obat wasir yg alami?
obat ambeyen atau wasir yang paling ampuh
obat ambeyen atau wasir yang paling ampuh dan mujarab
obat ambeyen atau wasir yang ampuh
obat wasir yang paling ampuh
obat ambeyen yang paling ampuh

media online indonesia said...

Thank you write this article for me see, I asked permission to write on the website wish you deign to allow it

Post a Comment