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I Had a Hippopotamus -- Patrick Barrington

       
(Poem #1576) I Had a Hippopotamus
 I had a hippopotamus; I kept him in a shed
 And fed him upon vitamins and vegetable bread.
 I made him my companion on many cheery walks,
 And had his portrait done by a celebrity in chalks.

 His charming eccentricities were known on every side.
 The creature's popularity was wonderfully wide.
 He frolicked with the Rector in a dozen friendly tussles,
 Who could not but remark on his hippopotamuscles.

 If he should be affected by depression or the dumps
 By hippopotameasles or hippopotamumps
 I never knew a particle of peace 'till it was plain
 He was hippopotamasticating properly again.

 I had a hippopotamus, I loved him as a friend
 But beautiful relationships are bound to end.
 Time takes, alas! our joys from us and robs us of our blisses.
 My hippopotamus turned out to be a hippopotamissus.

 My housekeeper regarded him with jaundice in her eye.
 She did not want a colony of hippopotami.
 She borrowed a machine gun from her soldier-nephew, Percy
 And showed my hippopotamus no hippopotamercy.

 My house now lacks the glamour that the charming creature gave.
 The garage where I kept him is as silent as a grave.
 No longer he displays among the motor-tires and spanners
 His hippopotamastery of hippopotamanners.

 No longer now he gambols in the orchard in the Spring;
 No longer do I lead him through the village on a string;
 No longer in the mornings does the neighborhood rejoice
 To his hippopotamusically-modulated voice.

 I had a hippopotamus, but nothing upon the earth
 Is constant in its happiness or lasting in its mirth.
 No life that's joyful can be strong enough to smother
 My sorrow for what might have been a hippopotamother.
-- Patrick Barrington
Many thanks to Prabhash Gokaran , who went through
our hippo theme [Poem #844 onwards] and wanted to know why the funniest one
of the lot was not included. Well, the simple answer is that at the time I
had never read it before - and, with a little prodding from Prabhash, I'm
delighted to finally add it to the collection.

Of course, one of the first things I was struck by was the similarity of the
opening lines to "The Diplomatic Platypus" [Poem #1028] by the same poet,
but apart from this and a similarity of metre, "Hippopotamus" is a different
sort of silliness from "Platypus". Indeed, it leans more towards the
"children's poem" end of the spectrum, with its plethora of hippopotamorped
words and delightfully contrived rhymes, and the sheer delicious
ruthlessness of
  She borrowed a machine gun from her soldier-nephew, Percy
  And showed my hippopotamus no hippopotamercy.

One thing that jarred slightly was the broken metre in the lines
   Who could not but remark on his hippopotamuscles.
and
   My hippopotamus turned out to be a hippopotamissus.

Could someone with a print copy confirm that these are indeed accurate?

martin

[Links]

The other poem this reminded me (tangentially) of was "I Had a Little Pony":
[broken link] http://www.amherst.edu/~rjyanco/literature/mothergoose/rhymes/ihadalittlepony.html

We've run one other poem of Barrington's, Poem #1028

And what is surely the motherlode of hippo poems on the net:
  http://members.aol.com/HippoPage/hipppoem.htm

114 comments: ( or Leave a comment )

William Grey said...

PS. Oh dear! I thought I had transcribed the Barrington poem with
meticulous care. However I find that my "corrections" introduced further
errors. Some of them are fairly minor mistakes, e.g. punctuation. But an
error is an error, and should be corrected. So, with the benefit of a
competent proof-reader, I submit the following lines to replace the ones
sent earlier, as appropriate -- one line from each of the last five stanzas
of the poem:

But beautiful relationships are bound to have an end.

She did not want a colony of hippopotami;

My house now lacks the glamour that the charming creature gave,

No longer now he gambols in the orchard in the Spring;

My sorrow for that might-have-been-a-hippopotamother.

William Grey

Mark F. Bean said...

I first heard this poem in 1957, recited by a girl in my class in London. I
thought she wrote it and was VERY impressed. From that single reading I
remembered the first three lines and just looked them up on the web. I was
surprised to find that in fact she did not write it, and even more surprised
that I had the lines right after nearly 50 years (I was only 6 at the time).

louis mulvey said...

line 8 .. replace ON ..with..UPON .... then it scans.

louis mulvey said...

line 8 ....... replace ON with UPON. Then it scans.This is the version i learned as a kid.1964.

stephen campbell said...

We learned this poem at school 40 years ago! So who's the author

Anil Siqueira said...

One thing that jarred slightly was the broken metre in the line
Who could not but remark on his hippopotamuscles.

There is no broken metre. The phrasing is wrong. It's supposed to go like this:

Who COULD not BUT reMARK upON his HIPpoPOtaMUScles.

And there are others.

If he should be affected by depression or the dumps
By hippopotameasles or THE hippopotamumps
I never knew a particle of peace 'till it was plain
He was hippopotamasticating properly again.
I had a hippopotamus, I loved him as a friend
But beautiful relationships are bound to HAVE AN end.
Time takes, alas! our joys from us and robs us of our blisses.
My HIPpopotamus turned OUT to be a HIPpopotaMISsus.

Anil L. Siqueira LilladherWorli Mumbai 400 018

John R. Yamamoto-Wilson said...

My father (Raymond Wilson), along with a colleague (James Gibson)
anthologised this in the 1960s, in a four-part series called Rhyme and
Rhythm. The books were followed by a set of LP recordings, in which this
was so memorably sung to the tune of "There'll always be an England"
that to this day I remember it almost in its entirety. Among my other
favourites from that collection was "Sir Smasham Uppe"
([broken link] http://www.sirensongweb.com/pages-2006/mother-daughter-poetry.html).

The version below is (I think) correct.

John

I Had a Hippopotamus

I had a hippopotamus; I kept him in a shed
And fed him upon vitamins and vegetable bread;
I made him my companion on many cheery walks
And had his portrait done by a celebrity in chalks.

His charming eccentricities were known on every side,
The creature's popularity was wonderfully wide;
He frolicked with the Rector in a dozen friendly tussles,
Who could not but remark upon his hippopotamuscles.

If he should be afflicted by depression or the dumps,
By hippopotameasles or the hippopotamumps,
I never knew a particle of peace till it was plain
He was hippopotamasticating properly again.

I had a hippopotamus; I loved him as a friend;
But beautiful relationships are bound to have an end.
Time takes, alas! our joys from us and robs us of our blisses;
My hippopotamus turned out a hippopotamissis.

My housekeeper regarded him with jaundice in her eye;
She did not want a colony of hippopotami;
She borrowed a machine-gun from her soldier-nephew, Percy,
And showed my hippopotamus no hippopotamercy.

My house now lacks the glamour that the charming creature gave,
The garage where I kept him is as silent as the grave;
No longer he displays among the motor-tyres and spanners
His hippopotomastery of hippopotamanners.

No longer now he gambols in the orchard in the Spring;
No longer do I lead him through the village on a string;
No longer in the mornings does the neighbourhood rejoice
To his hippopotamusically-modulated voice.

I had a hippopotamus; but nothing upon earth
Is constant in its happiness or lasting in its mirth.
No joy that life can give me can be strong enough to smother
My sorrow for that might-have-been-a-hippopotamother.

Jos. Chiaravalloti said...

I learned this song from a recitation, but I remember the lines as

[Who could not but remark on his hippopotamuscles.]
Who could not but remark upon his hippopotamuscles.

[My hippopotamus turned out to be a hippopotamissus.]
My hippopotamus turned out a hippopotamissus.

Phone me sometime and I will sing you the tune, if you don't know it.

--

JoS. Chiaravalloti

304 Hillcrest Drive

Hamilton

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Banyak orang yang merasa terganggu dengan penyakit ambeien. Karena ambeien merupakan penyakit yang munculnya di bagian dubur atau anus. Tapi ternyata pengobatan ambeien tidak harus selalu secara medis namun kini ada http://wasirambeienherbal.com/cara-mengobati-benjolan-wasir-secara-alami.html. Memang cara pengobatan itu tergantung dari si penderita. Bisa mengobati secara medis maupun secara tradisional. Semuanya bisa dilakukan sesuai dengan keinginan penderita mana yang dirasa lebih mudah. Untuk lebih jelasnya silahkan baca artikel kami selengkapnya

Blog ini menjual obat herbal kutil kelamin, karena Jika penyakit ini terus dibiarkan maka gejala juga akan terasa menyakitkan. Mengenai proses munculnya, kutil pada pria ini bisa hadir dalam bentuk datar atau berukuran besar dan berkelompok. Ciri yang paling umum dari kutil kelamin ini adalah bentuknya yang menyerupai kembang kol. untuk cara pemesanana silahkan kunjungpengobatan kutil kelamin tanpa operasi



http://www.obatdenature.com/obat-kemaluan-keluar-nanah/Dan kondisi ini dapat semakin parah dan kemudian menimbulkan berbagai macam komplikasi seperti peradangan sendi dan infeksi jantung. Hal yang seperti ini dapat dicegah dengan mengenali gejala awalnya, sehingga penyakit ini tidak bertambah parah. untuk cara pemesanana silahkan kunjunghttp://se-intelligence.com/mengobati-kemaluan-keluar-nanah.html

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