Uncle and Auntie -- John Hegley

Guest poem submitted by Laura Simeon:

(Poem #1766) Uncle and Auntie my auntie gave me a colouring book and crayons I begin to colour after a while auntie leans over and says you've gone over the lines what do you think they're there for eh? some kind of statement is it? going to be a rebel are we? your auntie gives you a lovely present and you have to go and ruin it I begin to cry my uncle gives me a hanky and some blank paper do some doggies of your own he says I begin to colour when I have done he looks over and says they are all very good he is lying only some of them are -- John Hegley

I first encountered John Hegley on Minstrels last year (Poem #1584, Go and
play in the middle) and it was love at first sight.  On a trip to England
this summer I picked up a volume of his poetry entitled _Glad to Wear
Glasses_.  It was difficult to pick just one poem to submit, but I find this
one a delightful example of his unpretentious, razor sharp wit.  His website
may be viewed at: [broken link] http://www.johnhegley.co.uk.

Thank you,
Laura Simeon.

Go and play in the middle -- John Hegley

Guest poem sent in by Steve Axbey

(Poem #1583) Go and play in the middle my Mum used to watch out of the window these boys who played football on the green in front of the bungalow she used to stand well back so she couldn't be seen and when the ball hit the wall of our garden she said to my Dad it's hit our wall again Bob go out and tell them and my Dad would go out and tell them maybe eight or nine times in a day to go and play in the middle and immediately he had told them my Mum would be on the watch for the next time he would need sending out and sometimes it was only a few moments after he had come back in -- John Hegley

In the bright and innocent days of 'alternative comedy' John Hegley was
known as an 'alternative poet' and for a while he was on TV quite regularly
here in the UK.  Rarely seen on the box now, he still tours the country
performing in his one-man shows and is a regular at the Edinburgh festival -
catch him if you can.

This poem is a very early one of his - not sure why I chose this particular
one amongst many others, for some reason it just made me laugh the most when
I was re-reading the book this evening.  But I don't think it's a bad choice
- it's pretty representative: his Dad, his Bungalow and his childhood in
Luton feature regularly in his poems - he's not just kept in touch with his
roots, he's positively milked them :-)

And I know he wouldn't mind me saying that - typical of Hegley, he's even
written an poem poking fun at the way he writes poems poking fun at his
roots. Here it is [assuming that Martin and Abraham don't notice me
smuggling, deftly, a second poem into my submission] [we've done it
ourselves! - martin]

LUTON
(a poem about the town of my upbringing and the conflict between my working
class origins and the middle class status conferred upon me by a university
education)

    I remember Luton
    as I'm swallowing my crout'n

[two poems eh? how on earth is Sitaram going to fit that into his index?]
[the index is large, it contains multitudes - martin]

To really appreciate his poems you have to hear John read them himself -
there's a brief sound bite on his website [broken link] http://www.johnhegley.co.uk ,
where there's a also a biog, merchandise etc. If you'd like to hear him he's
actually on tour in the UK at the moment (winter 2004), details on the site.

Enjoy
Stephen Axbey

[Links]

Reiterating the link to Hegley's site: [broken link] http://www.johnhegley.co.uk

And go reread Poem #1407 while you're at it :)