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Showing posts with label Poet: Tom Lehrer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Poet: Tom Lehrer. Show all posts

Bright College Days -- Tom Lehrer

And then there's the *other* set of college stereotypes...
(Poem #1906) Bright College Days
 Bright college days, oh, carefree days that fly,
 To thee we sing with our glasses raised on high.  [holds up eyeglasses]
 Let's drink a toast as each of us recalls
 Ivy-covered professors in ivy-covered halls.

 Turn on the spigot,
 Pour the beer and swig it,
 And gaudeamus igit-itur.

 Here's to parties we tossed,
 To the games that we lost
 (We shall claim that we won them someday).
 To the girls, young and sweet,
 To the spacious back seat
 Of our roommate's beat up Chevrolet.
 To the beer and Benzedrine,
 To the way that the dean
 Tried so hard to be pals with us all.
 To excuses we fibbed,
 To the papers we cribbed
 From the genius who lived down the hall.

 To the tables down at Mory's
 (Wherever that may be),
 Let us drink a toast to all we love the best.
 We will sleep through all the lectures,
 And cheat on the exams,
 And we'll pass, and be forgotten with the rest.

 Oh, soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
 Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.  (Oooh!)
 (laughter) ... Ready? ...
 But as we go our sordid separate ways,
 We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.

 Hearts full of youth,
 Hearts full of truth,
 Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
-- Tom Lehrer
Note: The song makes parodic reference to several other songs; see the links
  for an annotated version

A typically fun song from Tom Lehrer, sailing high-spiritedly through the
standard list of "party school" cliches, and cocking a snook at several
other songs on the way. The short, bouncy lines with their skilfully varied
rhymes (not to mention a very catchy tune - listen to it if you get a
chance!) at one send up the perky enthusiasm of more traditional college
songs, and make this one of those songs that sticks in your head.

Other random thoughts - "we'll pass and be forgotten with the rest" is an
enviably good pun; I dearly wish I'd thought of it myself. And the dean who
"tried so hard to be pals with us all" reminds me, appropriately enough, of
another passage from Kipling's "Stalky and Co.":

  Again, a man who has sincerely devoted himself to gaining the esteem of
  his charges does not like to hear himself described, even at a distance,
  as "Popularity Prout" by a dark and scowling Celt with a fluent tongue.

  [...]

    Oh, Prout he is a nobleman, a nobleman, a nobleman!
    Our Heffy is a nobleman¿
    He does an awful lot,
    Because his popularity
    Oh, pop-u-pop-u-larity¿
    His giddy popularity
    Would suffer did he not!

  The study door stood ajar; and the song, borne by twenty clear voices,
  came faint from a form-room. The fags rather liked the tune; the words
  were Beetle's.

martin

[Theme]

I'll wind up the theme tomorrow (unless someone wants to send in a
last-minute contribution, of course) with a somewhat more serious song -
feel free to guess which one.

[Links]

The annotated version of the song, including Lehrer's introductory patter:
  http://members.aol.com/quentncree/lehrer/college.htm

See also
  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Whiffenpoofs
  http://quotations.about.com/cs/poemlyrics/a/Gentlemen_Ranke.htm

National Brotherhood Week -- Tom Lehrer

Guest poem submitted by Anita B.:
(Poem #1539) National Brotherhood Week
 Oh, the white folks hate the black folks,
 And the black folks hate the white folks;
 To hate all but the right folks
 Is an old established rule.

 But during National Brotherhood Week,
 National Brotherhood Week,
 Lena Horne and Sheriff Clark are dancing cheek to cheek.
 It's fun to eulogize
 The people you despise
 As long as you don't let 'em in your school.

 Oh, the poor folks hate the rich folks,
 And the rich folks hate the poor folks.
 All of my folks hate all of your folks,
 It's American as apple pie.

 But during National Brotherhood Week,
 National Brotherhood Week,
 New Yorkers love the Puerto Ricans 'cause it's very chic.
 Step up and shake the hand
 Of someone you can't stand,
 You can tolerate him if you try!

 Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics
 And the Catholics hate the Protestants,
 And the Hindus hate the Muslims,
 And everybody hates the Jews.

 But during National Brotherhood Week,
 National Brotherhood Week,
 It's National Everyone-Smile-At-One-Another-Hood Week.
 Be nice to people who
 Are inferior to you.
 It's only for a week, so have no fear;
 Be grateful that it doesn't last all year!
-- Tom Lehrer
This song is from Tom Lehrer's album 'That was the year that was'. I heard
it for the first time in a friend's house where we laughed out loud for
nearly 5 minutes after listening to this one. The song is a very good
example of how politically incorrect he can get. The man starts being
irreverent from the word go. When you think about it you realise he has
neatly packaged all the superficiality of brotherhood days, or 'any other
cause' days for that matter, when it really does not make a major
difference. Totally cynical but I guess also too true. The best way to enjoy
this song of course is to listen to Lehrer say 'national brotherhood week'
in lofty tones and then deliver his punch lines in a bland understated
manner.

There is already a lot of background material on Lehrer in the Minstrels
archives, so I shall not include more. On this song specifically: when it
was performed live, Lehrer introduced it with these words: "During National
Brotherhood Week various special events are arranged to drive home the
message of brotherhood -- this year, for example, on the first day of the
week, Malcolm X was killed, which gives you an idea of how effective the
whole thing is. I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another, and
I know there are people in the world who do not love their fellow human
beings, and I hate people like that! Here's a song about National
Brotherhood Week. "

Regards,
Anita B.

Lobachevsky -- Tom Lehrer

Guest poem sent in by Matt Chanoff
(Poem #1316) Lobachevsky
 Who made me the genius I am today,
 The mathematician that others all quote,
 Who's the professor that made me that way?
 The greatest that ever got chalk on his coat.

 One man deserves the credit,
 One man deserves the blame,
 and Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name.  Oy!
 Nicolai Ivanovich Lobache...

 I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky.
 In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics: Plagiarize!

 Plagiarize,
 Let no one else's work evade your eyes,
 Remember why the good Lord made your eyes,
 So don't shade your eyes,
 But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize...
 Only be sure always to call it please "research".

 And ever since I meet this man my life is not the same,
 And Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name.  Oy!
 Nicolai Ivanovich Lobache...

 I am never forget the day I am given first original paper to write.  It
 was on analytic and algebraic topology of locally Euclidean metrization
 of infinitely differentiable Riemannian manifold.
 Bozhe moi!
 This I know from nothing.
 But I think of great Lobachevsky and I get idea - haha!

 I have a friend in Minsk,
 Who has a friend in Pinsk,
 Whose friend in Omsk
 Has friend in Tomsk
 With friend in Akmolinsk.
 His friend in Alexandrovsk
 Has friend in Petropavlovsk,
 Whose friend somehow
 Is solving now
 The problem in Dnepropetrovsk.

 And when his work is done -
 Haha! - begins the fun.
 From Dnepropetrovsk
 To Petropavlovsk,
 By way of Iliysk,
 And Novorossiysk,
 To Alexandrovsk to Akmolinsk
 To Tomsk to Omsk
 To Pinsk to Minsk
 To me the news will run,
 Yes, to me the news will run!

 And then I write
 By morning, night,
 And afternoon,
 And pretty soon
 My name in Dnepropetrovsk is cursed,
 When he finds out I published first!

 And who made me a big success
 And brought me wealth and fame?
 Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name.  Oy!
 Nicolai Ivanovich Lobache...

 I am never forget the day my first book is published.
 Every chapter I stole from somewhere else.
 Index I copy from old Vladivostok telephone directory.
 This book, this book was sensational!
 Pravda - ah, Pravda - Pravda said: (Russian double-talk)
 It stinks.
 But Izvestia!  Izvestia said: (Russian double-talk)
 It stinks.
 Metro-Goldwyn-Moskva bought the movie rights for six million rubles,
 Changing title to 'The Eternal Triangle',
 With Brigitte Bardot playing part of hypotenuse.

 And who deserves the credit?
 And who deserves the blame?
 Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name.
 Oy!
-- Tom Lehrer
This current mathematical theme made me think that it's time once again for
Minstrels to put out something by the great Tom Lehrer.  The following was
referred to in the commentary on Lehrer's one previous appearance, Poem #490,
The Elements. The Elements is more interesting poetically, but on the
other hand, this one is funnier.  Attached to #490 you can also find links
for info on this peculiar genius, who, three decades after he stopped
performing publically, still leaves us wanting more.

Matt Chanoff

[Martin adds]

This one really, really, really needs to be listened to to be fully
appreciated. It's not just the music - the performance is sidesplittingly
funny, and maintains the mix of patter and singing most impressively.
Luckily for the current generation, Lehrer's works have been recenely
reissued in a three CD box set titled "The Remains of Tom Lehrer". Highly
recommended.

martin

The Elements -- Tom Lehrer

       
(Poem #490) The Elements
There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium,
And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium,
And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium,
And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium,
Europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium,
And lanthanum and osmium and astatine and radium,
And gold, protactinium and indium and gallium,
And iodine and thorium and thulium and thallium.

There's yttrium, ytterbium, actinium, rubidium,
And boron, gadolinium, niobium, iridium,
And strontium and silicon and silver and samarium,
And bismuth, bromine, lithium, beryllium, and barium.

There's holmium and helium and hafnium and erbium,
And phosphorus and francium and fluorine and terbium,
And manganese and mercury, molybdenum, magnesium,
Dysprosium and scandium and cerium and cesium.
And lead, praseodymium, and platinum, plutonium,
Palladium, promethium, potassium, polonium,
And tantalum, technetium, titanium, tellurium,
And cadmium and calcium and chromium and curium.

There's sulfur, californium, and fermium, berkelium,
And also mendelevium, einsteinium, nobelium,
And argon, krypton, neon, radon, xenon, zinc, and rhodium,
And chlorine, carbon, cobalt, copper, tungsten, tin, and sodium.

These are the only ones of which the news has come to Ha'vard,
And there may be many others, but they haven't been discavard.
-- Tom Lehrer
An astonishing feat of ingenuity - a perfectly rhymed, perfectly metrical parody
of 'The Major-General's Song' from Gilbert & Sullivan's 'Pirates of Penzance'
[1]. It's rather mild by Lehrer's standards (no serial killers, dope peddlers or
mathematicians - indeed, no political incorrectness of any sort), but it's no
less briliant for that, and who am I to complain?

thomas.

[1] For Gilbert's immortal original, see poem #88

[Web stuff]

I found this in a Rhino records article about Tom Lehrer:

"'The Elements' was an attempt to top the song 'Tschaikowsky', by Ira Gershwin
and Kurt Weill. [Danny] Kaye sang it in the show Lady In The Dark, rattling off
at lightning speed the names of 50 Russian composers."

        -- [broken link] http://www.rhino.com/features/liners/72776lin.html

Other examples of poetic ingenuity abound on the Minstrels (no great surprise,
given our fondness for the genre). Check out:

'Juggler, Magician, Fool: A Pantoum', by Peter Schaeffer, at poem #195

'Sonnet with a Different Letter at the End of Every Line', by George Starbuck,
at poem #194

And then there's Mike Keith's home page, which I have to admit is the most
mindblowingly amazing site I've come across in all my years of surfing the web:
http://users.aol.com/s6sj7gt/mikehome.htm

[More on Lehrer]

"Tom Lehrer was one of comedy's great paradoxes -- a respected Harvard
mathematics professor by day, he also ranked among the foremost song satirists
of the postwar era, recording vicious, twisted parodies of popular musical
trends which proved highly influential on the "sick comedy" revolution of the
1960s. Despite an aversion to the press and a relatively small recorded output,
Lehrer became a star, although he remained an enigma to even his most ardent
fans; he rarely toured, never allowed his photo to adorn album jackets, and
essentially retired from performing in 1965, leaving behind a cult following
which only continued to grow in his absence from the limelight."

        -- [broken link] http://www.allmusic.com

[Still More on Lehrer]

"Lehrer was born April 9, 1928; even as a child, he frequently parodied popular
songs of the day, and also learned to play piano. In 1944, he left New York City
to study math at Harvard, earning his master's degree within three years and
remaining as a graduate student through 1953. During his student years Lehrer
wrote The Physical Revue, a collection of academic song satires staged on campus
in January, 1951; an updated performance followed in May of the next year. He
also sang his parodies at coffeehouses and student gatherings throughout the
Cambridge, Massachusetts area; as demand for an album of his songs increased, he
spent $15 on studio time to cut Songs by Tom Lehrer, a ten-inch record privately
pressed in an edition of 400 copies.

The record sold out its entire run, and as the Harvard student body dispersed
across the country for Christmas vacation, the disc spread ("like herpes,"
Lehrer joked) far beyond its intended local audience. Soon Lehrer was inundated
with requests for copies from across the nation; after several re-pressings,
Songs by Tom Lehrer sold an astounding 350, 000 copies on the strength of tracks
like "I Hold Your Hand in Mine" (about a man who cut off his girlfriend's hand
in order to nibble on her fingertips), "Irish Ballad" (a buoyant romp about a
killing spree) and "My Home Town" (concerning a place where murderers teach
school and old perverts operate the candy store).

In 1955, Lehrer was inducted to serve in the Army, and was honorably discharged
two years later. Finally, in 1959 he recorded a follow-up, More of Tom Lehrer,
featuring "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park" and "The Masochism Tango; " the same
collection of songs were also recorded during a live performance at Harvard, and
issued simultaneously as An Evening Wasted with Tom Lehrer. A tour of Europe
followed, resulting in another concert collection, Tom Lehrer Revisited, which
constituted live renditions of the tracks from the debut LP. However,
controversial reactions to his "sick" comedy during a series of Australian
performances prompted Lehrer to retire, and he returned full-time to his first
love, teaching."

        -- [broken link] http://www.allmusic.com