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Toads -- Philip Larkin

My turn to contribute to the theme:
(Poem #544) Toads
 Why should I let the toad work
 Squat on my life?
 Can't I use my wit as a pitchfork
 And drive the brute off?

 Six days of the week it soils
 With its sickening poison -
 Just for paying a few bills!
 That's out of proportion.

 Lots of folk live on their wits:
 Lecturers, lispers,
 Losers, loblolly-men, louts-
 They don't end as paupers;

 Lots of folk live up lanes
 With fires in a bucket,
 Eat windfalls and tinned sardines-
 They seem to like it.

 Their nippers have got bare feet,
 Their unspeakable wives
 Are skinny as whippets - and yet
 No one actually _starves_.

 Ah, were I courageous enough
 To shout, Stuff your pension!
 But I know, all too well, that's the stuff
 That dreams are made on:

 For something sufficiently toad-like
 Squats in me, too;
 Its hunkers are heavy as hard luck,
 And cold as snow,

 And will never allow me to blarney
 My way of getting
 The fame and the girl and the money
 All at one sitting.

 I don't say, one bodies the other
 One's spiritual truth;
 But I do say it's hard to lose either,
 When you have both.
-- Philip Larkin
A typical Larkin poem: dry and to the point, it echoes the quiet desperation
which infuses much of his work. The comparison between the two toads of the
title [1] - the sickening poison of the toad 'work', and the lack of courage of
his own baser self - is not overdone at all; instead, Larkin's matter-of-fact
tone reinforces the sense he is trying to convey.

thomas.

[1] Alliteration watch!

[Assessment]

" ... Philip Larkin is the poet of the emotionally underprivileged. He speaks
for the vast majority of people, for whom life is a series of successive
disillusionments. His poetic personae are invariably unprepossessing - the man
with bicycle clips on his trousers, sitting in an empty church; the outsider,
looking in on the merrymaking of other people; the traveler who has (both
literally and figuratively) missed the boat. Yet if we describe his subject as
being 'the short end of the stick', all we can say is that he has a firm grasp
of it; like Thomas Hardy (one of his early influences), he is an intelligent
skeptic, rather than a shallow cynic or a bitter loser.

Larkin's distaste for the spectacular extends itself to the _manner_ of his
poetry; his verse exhibits the same precision and clarity as does that of Yeats.
His relatively small poetic output reflects his sense of balance and his
attention to detail... "

        -- Gary Geddes, 20th Century Poetry and Poetics

(The above paragraphs are from memory, so they're not verbatim. The overall
sense is correct, though - t.).

Executive -- John Betjeman

My contribution to the work theme...
(Poem #543) Executive
I am a young executive. No cuffs than mine are cleaner;
I have a Slimline brief-case and I use the firm's Cortina.
In every roadside hostelry from here to Burgess Hill
The maîtres d'hôtel all know me well, and let me sign the bill.

You ask me what it is I do. Well, actually, you know,
I'm partly a liaison man, and partly P.R.O.
Essentially, I integrate the current export drive
And basically I'm viable from ten o'clock till five.

For vital off-the-record work - that's talking transport-wise -
I've a scarlet Aston-Martin - and does she go? She flies!
Pedestrians and dogs and cats, we mark them down for slaughter.
I also own a speedboat which has never touched the water.

She's built of fibre-glass, of course. I call her 'Mandy Jane'
After a bird I used to know - No soda, please, just plain -
And how did I acquire her? Well, to tell you about that
And to put you in the picture, I must wear my other hat.

I do some mild developing. The sort of place I need
Is a quiet country market town that's rather run to seed
A luncheon and a drink or two, a little savoir faire -
I fix the Planning Officer, the Town Clerk and the Mayor.

And if some Preservationist attempts to interfere
A 'dangerous structure' notice from the Borough Engineer
Will settle any buildings that are standing in our way -
The modern style, sir, with respect, has really come to stay.
-- John Betjeman
Despite the common complaint that having to study poems in school 'ruins'
them, I've always found my textbooks a lovely source of new poets. One such
happy discovery was Betjeman, one of my favourite modern poets, and while
'Executive' is far from his best poem, it was the one that got me hooked on
his work.

The poem's attractions are evident. 'Executive' is not just a good poem; it
is a distinctive one (indeed, much of Betjeman's poetry is - he has a very
distinct and original style, though it is hard to say just what makes it so
individual). The quick-paced, breezy monologue, laden with buzzwords,
captures the image of the yuppie to perfection - note the almost comically
boastful tone, the attention paid to status symbols, and ruthless efficiency
the narrator upholds as an ideal. Note, also, the hilarious parody of
corporate speak in the second verse - indeed, I was surprised to see that
the poem was written back in 1974; a phrase like 'essentially I integrate
the current export drive' seems straight out of Dilbert.

Biography:

Betjeman, Sir John
b. Aug. 28, 1906, London, Eng.
d. May 19, 1984, Trebetherick, Cornwall

British poet known for his nostalgia for the near past, his exact sense of
place, and his precise rendering of social nuance, which made him widely
read in England at a time when much of what he wrote about was rapidly
vanishing. The poet, in near-Tennysonian rhythms, satirized lightly the
promoters of empty and often destructive "progress" and the foibles of his
own comfortable class. As an authority on English architecture and
topography, he did much to popularize Victorian and Edwardian building and
to protect what remained of it from destruction.

The son of a prosperous businessman, Betjeman grew up in a London suburb,
where T.S. Eliot was one of his teachers. He later studied at Marlborough
College (a public school) and Magdalen College, Oxford. The years from early
childhood until he left Oxford were detailed in Summoned by Bells (1960),
blank verse interspersed with lyrics.

Betjeman's first book of verse, Mount Zion, and his first book on
architecture, Ghastly Good Taste, appeared in 1933. Churches, railway
stations, and other elements of a townscape figure largely in both books.
Four more volumes of poetry appeared before the publication of Collected
Poems (1958). His later collections were High and Low (1966), A Nip in the
Air (1974), Church Poems (1981), and Uncollected Poems (1982). Betjemen's
celebration of the more settled Britain of yesteryear seemed to touch a
responsive chord in a public that was suffering the uprootedness of World
War II and its austere aftermath.

Betjeman's prose works include several guidebooks to English counties; First
and Last Loves (1952), essays on places and buildings; The English Town in
the Last Hundred Years (1956); and English Churches (1964; with Basil
Clarke). He was knighted in 1969, and in 1972 he succeeded C. Day-Lewis as
poet laureate of England. [And was succeeded in 1984 by Ted Hughes - m.]

        -- EB

Links

For another biography, see [broken link] http://www.johnbetjeman.com/biograph.htm

And while you're at it, take a look at the rest of the official Betjeman
site: http://www.johnbetjeman.com/

-martin

p.s. Thanks to Thomas for manning the fort while I was away

Will Consider Situation -- Ogden Nash

Guest poem submitted by Vikram Doctor, as part of his
guest theme "Poems at Work":
(Poem #542) Will Consider Situation
 There here are words of radical advice for a young man looking for a job;
 Young man, be a snob.
 Yes, if you are in search of arguments against starting at the bottom,
 Why I've gottem.
 Let the personnel managers differ;
 It,s obvious that you will get on faster at the top than at the bottom because
there are more people at the bottom than at the top so naturally the competition
at the bottom is stiffer.
 If you need any further proof that my theory works
 Well, nobody can deny that presidents get paid more than vice-presidents and
vice-presidents get paid more than clerks.
 Stop looking at me quizzically;
 I want to add that you will never achieve fortune in a job that makes you
uncomfortable physically.
 When anybody tells you that hard jobs are better for you than soft jobs be sure
to repeat this text to them,
 Postmen tramp around all day through rain and snow just to deliver other
people's in cozy air-conditioned offices checks to them.
 You don't need to interpret tea leaves stuck in a cup
 To understand that people who work sitting down get paid more than people who
work standing up.
 Another thing about having a comfortable job is you not only accommodate more
treasure;
 You get more leisure.
 So that when you find you have worked so comfortably that your waistline is a
menace,
 You correct it with golf or tennis.
 Whereas is in an uncomfortable job like piano-moving or stevedoring you
indulge,
 You have no time to exercise, you just continue to bulge.
 To sum it up, young man, there is every reason to refuse a job that will make
heavy demands on you corporally or manually,
 And the only intelligent way to start your career is to accept a sitting
position paying at least twenty-five thousand dollars annually.
-- Ogden Nash
A poem that's evidently the theme song of management institutes (and I say that
being a somewhat unlikely MBA myself).

Vikram.

[thomas adds]

Inflation has not been kind to Ogden Nash - now, how many poets can you say
_that_ about? - ... apart from that, though, this is a wonderfully typical piece
of Nashery. Not as good as some of his best work, but delightful nonetheless.

thomas.

You Will Be Hearing From Us Shortly -- U A Fanthorpe

Guest poem submitted by Vikram Doctor, as part of his
theme "Poems at Work":
(Poem #541) You Will Be Hearing From Us Shortly
 You feel adequate to the demands of this position?
 What qualities do you feel you
 Personally have to offer?
                                        Ah.

 Let us consider your application form.
 Your qualifications, though impressive, are
 Not, we must admit, precisely what
 We had in mind. Would you care
 To defend their relevance?
                                        Indeed.

 Now your age. Perhaps you feel able
 To make your own comment about that,
 Too? We are conscious ourselves
 Of the need for a candidate with precisely
 The right degree of immaturity.
                                        So glad we agree.

 And now a delicate matter: your looks.
 You do appreciate this work involves
 Contact with the actual public? Might they,
 Perhaps, find your appearance
 Disturbing?
                                        Quite so.

 And your accent. That is the way
 You have always spoken, is it? What
 Of your education? We mean, of course,
 Where were you educated?
                                And how
 Much of a handicap is that to you,
 Would you say?

                Married, children,
 We see. The usual dubious
 Desire to perpetuate what had better
 Not have happened at all. We do not
 Ask what domestic desires shimmer
 Behind that vaguely unsuitable address.

 And you were born--?
                                        Yes. Pity.

 So glad we agree.
-- U A Fanthorpe
Nothing much to add on this, except it made me laugh out loud when I read it in
the Oxford Book of Work. I love the image it conjures up of a malign interviewer
peering down in disgust at the unfortunate interviewee. I've been there too...

Vikram.

Office Friendships -- Gavin Ewart

Guest poem submitted by Vikram Doctor, as part of his
theme "Poems at Work":
(Poem #540) Office Friendships
 Eve is madly in love with Hugh
 And Hugh is keen on Jim.
 Charles is in love with very few
 And few are in love with him.

 Myra sits typing notes of love
 With romantic pianist's fingers.
 Dick turns his eyes to the heavens above
 Where Fran's divine perfume lingers.

 Nicky is rolling eyes and tits
 And flaunting her wiggly walk
 Everybody is thrilled to bits
 By Clive's suggestive talk.

 Sex suppressed will go berserk,
 But it keeps us all alive.
 It's a wonderful change from wives and work.
 And it ends at half past five.
-- Gavin Ewart
I love Ewart, he's always fun and cool. And offices _are_ sort of cruisy places,
especially given the amount of time we spend in them these days, and the modern
management emphasis on how we all have to be close and one big family. So we all
spend this much time together, and it's hardly surprising then that our thoughts
turn towards incest... with the predictably disastrous consequences.

It's also why, I think, that all offices I've been in are obsessed with food.
Everyone is always eating, offering food around, going out for lunches,
comparing lunchboxes. Since you can't have the one kind of sensory
gratification, you overdo the other.

Vikram.