Guest poem submitted by Vikram Doctor, as part of his guest theme "Poems at Work":
(Poem #542) Will Consider Situation
There here are words of radical advice for a young man looking for a job; Young man, be a snob. Yes, if you are in search of arguments against starting at the bottom, Why I've gottem. Let the personnel managers differ; It,s obvious that you will get on faster at the top than at the bottom because there are more people at the bottom than at the top so naturally the competition at the bottom is stiffer. If you need any further proof that my theory works Well, nobody can deny that presidents get paid more than vice-presidents and vice-presidents get paid more than clerks. Stop looking at me quizzically; I want to add that you will never achieve fortune in a job that makes you uncomfortable physically. When anybody tells you that hard jobs are better for you than soft jobs be sure to repeat this text to them, Postmen tramp around all day through rain and snow just to deliver other people's in cozy air-conditioned offices checks to them. You don't need to interpret tea leaves stuck in a cup To understand that people who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up. Another thing about having a comfortable job is you not only accommodate more treasure; You get more leisure. So that when you find you have worked so comfortably that your waistline is a menace, You correct it with golf or tennis. Whereas is in an uncomfortable job like piano-moving or stevedoring you indulge, You have no time to exercise, you just continue to bulge. To sum it up, young man, there is every reason to refuse a job that will make heavy demands on you corporally or manually, And the only intelligent way to start your career is to accept a sitting position paying at least twenty-five thousand dollars annually.
A poem that's evidently the theme song of management institutes (and I say that being a somewhat unlikely MBA myself). Vikram. [thomas adds] Inflation has not been kind to Ogden Nash - now, how many poets can you say _that_ about? - ... apart from that, though, this is a wonderfully typical piece of Nashery. Not as good as some of his best work, but delightful nonetheless. thomas.