You Will Be Hearing From Us Shortly -- U A Fanthorpe

Guest poem submitted by Vikram Doctor, as part of his
theme "Poems at Work":

(Poem #541) You Will Be Hearing From Us Shortly You feel adequate to the demands of this position? What qualities do you feel you Personally have to offer? Ah. Let us consider your application form. Your qualifications, though impressive, are Not, we must admit, precisely what We had in mind. Would you care To defend their relevance? Indeed. Now your age. Perhaps you feel able To make your own comment about that, Too? We are conscious ourselves Of the need for a candidate with precisely The right degree of immaturity. So glad we agree. And now a delicate matter: your looks. You do appreciate this work involves Contact with the actual public? Might they, Perhaps, find your appearance Disturbing? Quite so. And your accent. That is the way You have always spoken, is it? What Of your education? We mean, of course, Where were you educated? And how Much of a handicap is that to you, Would you say? Married, children, We see. The usual dubious Desire to perpetuate what had better Not have happened at all. We do not Ask what domestic desires shimmer Behind that vaguely unsuitable address. And you were born--? Yes. Pity. So glad we agree. -- U A Fanthorpe

Nothing much to add on this, except it made me laugh out loud when I read it in
the Oxford Book of Work. I love the image it conjures up of a malign interviewer
peering down in disgust at the unfortunate interviewee. I've been there too...

Vikram.